Pork-Gobbling Crusader Dog Starts Blogging
During a lull in al-Qaeda blogging operations, Cave 13F, North Waziristan.
Achmed:
My brothers, have you see this? A new filthy Crusader blog is soiling al-Internet! The Jules Crittenden of al-Boston Herald in Amerikiyah!
Farouk:
What kind of name is this, Joo’less Kree’tindin?
Ali:
An alcohol-swilling infidel pig’s name, what do you think, you donkey!
Achmed:
Wait, I think I know of this Christian dog. Is he not the infamous Thief of Baghdad? He who robbed the riches and destroyed the culture of Iraq? They say he was worse than the Mongol hordes! Even among his own people was he repudiated when, as the Mother of All Battles raged, he had the effrontery to alert other Crusaders of enemies lurking!
Ali:
Of what does this unclean ferenghi write?
Achmed:
Movement … He writes of “Forward Movement.” For this is how the blog of al-Crittenden is called. Let us see … hmmm … Without shame he extolls the values of Amerikiyah that is strong and does good deeds in the world … a blasphemous notion … Here he dares to question the purity of the motives of our Persian brothers, who will bring us an Islamic bomb with which we can one day rid the world of unbelievers, inshallah. Also he disparages our Syrian brothers, who are godless Baathists but quite useful. Why, this is nothing more than the deranged blatherings of a Crusader who seeks blood for oil and wants to despoil the virtue of …
Ali:
Forward movement? But this is haram! The Sheikh has explained that only Righteous Jihad will move us forward. How is it possible that a pork-gobbling infidel shall claim to move forward! Impertinence! I shall see to this Crittenden! Farouk, if you please, I will need of one copy of Fatwa Requisition Form AQ0666. Would you be so kind as to run over to Cave 342D?
Farouk:
Look, my brothers! On his site the Kree’tindin lists many interesting websites. “Keep Your Friends Close” has many filthy infidel blogs! And here, “It Is Important to Know What Your Enemies Think.” Under this heading is al-Jazeera. Is it not the Sheikh’s favorite TV program? Also the New York Times! This dhimmi newspaper of Amerikiyah gives us so much important and useful information!
Ali:
It is so!
Farouk:
Here, under “It Is Fun To Learn,” so many interesting sources of information. This infidel is right. It is fun to learn! From The Smoking Gun website I have learned many interesting things of the Michael Jackson, the Britney Spears and many other sinful Ameriki glitterati, may Shaitan take them all!
Achmed:
Look here, Ali. This Crittenden’s blog even has us, under the title “al-Stooges of Three.” What does this mean, Stooges?
Ali:
Hmmm … I don’t know!
Farouk:
I will check Systran … it is on the site of al-Kree’tindin, under “Vital Functions,” to aid in translation. Let me see, English to Arabic. That was easy! Stooges, stooges, let me see. Oh. It means ستووج!
Ali:
Oh. Ha ha! ستووج! Of course!
Achmed:
Ha ha ha ha! ستووج! That is funny!
Farouk:
Yes! ستووج!
Ali, his face suddenly becoming red as steam bursts out of his ears:
Wait a minute! Did you say ستووج? I’ll show him ستووج! … Get thee to Cave 342D, Farouk, and bring me that Fatwa!
Topics: Al Stooges of Three
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:01 pm on Tuesday, November 14, 2006
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