Chickenus Dovus Asniniensis
The anti-war movement’s big moment has arrived. The pressure for cut-and-walk is on. The moment of defeat is at hand!
Back when the war started, there were some highly principled peaceniks who decided to go to Iraq to shield the innocent Iraqi people from the onslaught of American imperialist war criminals. This effort, unfortunately, did not persist long enough for any of them to hear a shot fired. They left in indignant frustration when they realized Saddam Hussein was placing them in military installations.
This was too bad. I supported what they were doing. I thought if Sean Penn could save the lives of innocent Iraqis by bravely taking a round, that was good. I could have some respect for the legions of lefties, if they chose to get splattered in furtherance of their beliefs. But they didn’t. It was a great disappointment.
Since then, the anti-war crowd, most of whom didn’t even manage to not shield Iraqis in the first place, have channeled their indignation into demands that anyone who supports this war enlist and go to Iraq. They’ve also been incensed that anyone who didn’t go to a war that they didn’t go to 40 years ago should suggest the United States needs to act in its own self-interest and self-defense. They call these people “chickenhawks.”
Now, American soldiers may be asked to fight a rearguard action, dying for the disengagement the anti-war movement has demanded. Now is the time for everyone who supports this to enlist. Go to Baghdad. Place yourself between the hapless GIs and their attackers. Strap yourselves to the bumpers of Humvees … better yet, jog ahead of the convoy and jump up and down on anything that looks suspicious.
The loud chorus of Kumbaya that precedes any American military unit will alert anti-American terrorists that here are people who want to understand why they hate us. Surely this will cause these heartless killers to pause, and reconsider their ways.
I expect John “Last Man” Kerry and John “Cut-and-Run” Murtha — as doves who actually have heard shots fired in anger and engaged in the American imperialist war crime that was Vietnam, but have since repented — will be leading the Doves’ Crusade. I encourage all peaceniks to climb on board for the Big Lose. When your grandkids say, “What did you do when the United States of America was humiliated?” you don’t want to have to change the subject.
Chickendove bibliography:
Douglas Kern, techcentralstation, 2/15/2005 The Problem of Chickendoves:
“Any yammering propeller-headed nitwit can tell the world to make love, not war, and no one can impeach his sincerity in making that plaintive demand. By contrast, anyone who supports the war had better be a card-carrying military veteran, or else be condemned as a “chickenhawk” — no matter how wise, eloquent, or inspiring their pro-war position might be.”
Rightwing Nut House, 8/20/2005 The Chickendoves:
“If Cindy Sheehan is the ‘Rosa Parks’ of the peace movement, if she’s the second coming of Martin Luther King or the ‘tipping point’ that will energize the anti war movement and turn it into a raging prairie fire that will sweep evil George and his neocons from office, how come there are less than 100 people camping out at salon de Cindee in Crawford?
“For God’s sake, Waco, a city of more than 100,000, is just a hop skip and a jump from Crawford. Are you trying to tell me with a city of that size and that close that you can’t even get the local loonies to come out and show their support for Sheehan?”
Vinnie at MyPetJawa, 8/20/2006 Shut Up and Serve:
A call to chickendoves in defense of Lebanon.
“Well, well now is the time for all smelly hippies to come to the aid of their international community … Get your chicken asses over to southern Lebanon and do your duty for peace, justice, and the Leftist way. The United Nations needs you. NOW!”
Don Sensing at One Hand Clapping stops clapping long enough to dopeslap Duncan Black.
There’s more Chickendove scholarship out there, but you get the point.
This just in:
“AP to Bloggers: Stop Maligning Our Stringers, Chickenhawks! Via Hotair. AP Exec Editor Kathleen Carroll, from the safety of her keyboard in New York, attacks the chickenhawkosphere!
Get thee to Baghdad, Kathy! Take us to this ill-informed, uniformed Hussein!
Meanwhile, Jawa cruelly smacks Kathy around over the Green Helmet Guy issue.
Still more on Kathy, a big hen among chickendoves, at the Democracy Project.
Topics: Uncategorized
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:28 am on Saturday, December 9, 2006
6 Responses to “Chickenus Dovus Asniniensis”
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December 9th, 2006 at 11:02 am
Heh. Indeed.
December 9th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
There is apparently a pecking order here as well when it comes to the left.
Vietnam vet -> credible
Late 70’s vet -> NOT credible
80’s vet -> NOT credible
Gulf War v1.0 vet -> maybe credible
You get the picture. Being in under Carter and too old to go back now rates me nowhere with the chickenhawk crowd.
December 9th, 2006 at 5:17 pm
I guess being in OJE in 1997 shields me from a charge of bloodthirstiness (a good Operation - a Clinton Peacekeeping stint). But having only gone to Afghanistan for 2004-2005, I still don’t quite count as being allowed to have an opinion in some eyes - I guess it has to be Iraq service only to allow you to be against fleeing/surrendering. Now, as you point out - no credentials required to advocate running away…
December 10th, 2006 at 12:41 am
Purple Avenger, try being a female who served in the Air Force, didn’t get to go to Saudi Arabia for Desert Storm (I begged to go), and medically retired in ‘96. (Hell, there are even plenty of milbloggers that brush off my service, for that matter.) You’d think I existed in a vacuum, that I don’t know a single thing about the military or its culture, by listening to chickendove moonbats.
Of course, if I were “antiwar” (a misnomer if there ever were one), I’d be exalted as an “expert.”
December 10th, 2006 at 2:31 am
Beth, I didn’t know you were a vet, just a damned fine blogger and patriot. Thank you for your service.
Bill Faith
USAF 1970-1974
Viet Nam, 1971-1972
December 10th, 2006 at 2:42 am
Excerpted and linked.