Why We Hate Us

Important New York Times Editorial:

January 18, 2007 

A Spy Program Foiled

Of the many ways that the New York Times has obstructed the United States government, aiding and abetting the enemies of our nation since the 9/11 attacks, one of the most egregious was this newspaper’s decision reveal the wiretapping of terrorism suspects’ international calls and e-mail, one of several secret surveillance programs we have undermined. We are astonished then, that rather than prompting the investigation and jailing of treacherous editors and reporters, an American newspaper’s campaign to hamstring a wartime presidency has finally prompted that administration to agree to a unnecessary process of seeking court approval for a completely legal process of monitoring international communications.   

The president’s decision hardly ends this egregious behavior by a leading pillar of the national press. We intend to keep it up. But among other things, the public needs to know why, for more than five years, the New York Times has consistently sided with America’s enemies.

This is because, even though we at the New York Times editorial board live in and around New York, scene of the most horrific and unprovoked attack on innocent American civilians ever, we still don’t see what the big deal is.

We consider this “War on Terror” … or more precisely, as the president says, “War on Turr” … to be a police matter that should be handled more or less as one deals with a common criminal. 

Criminals are often socially disadvantaged young men, frequently with substance abuse problems, who come from broken homes where they were unloved and mistreated. We do not seek to punish such people.  We consider it more effective to try to understand them.  What are their social needs? What motivates them to rob us, pummel us, rape us, and murder us?  Is it something we did? Is there something we can do that will make them less angry? We need to ask ourselves … why do they hate us?

Nor should we attempt to tap their telephones or read their email, because even the most reprehensible criminal has civil rights. Many, many, many civil rights.  And in the case of international terrorists, who don’t always enjoy these rights, the observance of those rights that we consider to be important are incontrovertibly of greater importance than removing criminals from the global “street.”  Thousands of innocent people may be regrettably taken captive, humiliated, blown up, decapitated, gassed or simply shot without respect for their civil rights. But the society that does not create a special class of civil rights for the people who commit these acts, when those people don’t enjoy the protection of the United States Constitution, because they dwell overseas or are  targeted by legal law enforcement and intelligence actions, will be a society that is markedly less pleasant.

But it is more than that. 

The Bush administration has shown itself to run counter to the interests that all the Americans we know hold dear, primarily those who live on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, in Westchester and some of the closer reaches of Connecticut.

Mr. Bush resembles a chimpanzee, and does not speak well. He believes in Jesus … not, we suspect, the WASPy Jesus some of our parents paid lip service to, but a dangerously snakehandle-y, tongue-speaking Jesus. Mr. Bush  has been unrepentent in his belief that “evil” exists in the world, and that sometimes it is not enough to just use one’s “words.”  He has also refused to cede his presidency to the United States Congress, despite a clear and unmistakeable message from several electoral districts of the United States whose voters signalled they wanted to be represented by someone else in Congress.  

Mr. Bush’s Attorney General, Mr. Alberto Gonzales, will appear today before the Judiciary Committee, now controlled by Democrats who have vowed to investigate the eavesdropping. 

We hope they will do that. We hope they will administer a sound tongue-lashing on Mr. Gonzales, and make him squirm, because despite being a person of Hispanicity, he has shown an unsettling and unforgiveable inclination to be both smart and Republican while being also brown. 

We strongly agree with Sen. John Rockefeller IV, the Democratic chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, that “the administration’s go-it-alone approach, effectively excluding Congress and the courts and operating outside the law, was unnecessary.” That’s right. What he said.

Mostly, we have sided with America’s enemies because we can. We remain grateful and mystified that, despite Mr. Chimpy McHitlerburton’s creation of a fascist police state in America, in which civil rights have been trampled on and the open honest dissent of people like Cindy Sheehan and John Murtha has resulted in their imprisonment in the hated Crusader Gulag of Guantanamo, we, at the New York Times, have somehow remained at large, in open and treasonous support of the enemies of this nation.

 

Wait a minute … that not what today’s New York Times editorial says.

Topics: Uncategorized

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 10:00 pm on Thursday, January 18, 2007

9 Responses to “Why We Hate Us”

  1. alphie Says:

    It’s not personal, it’s business.

  2. Hyscience Says:

    Did they really say that?

    Did a transparently honest New York Times article make it to press? Check it out:Mostly, we have sided with America’s enemies because we can. We remain grateful and mystified that, despite Mr. Chimpy McHitlerburton’s creation of a fascist police stat…

  3. Grimmy Says:

    I wonder if it’s gonna dawn on them that the same “demographic” that they’ve been pissing off with their games is the same “demographic” that owns guns and believes strongly in such things as hunting down and obliterating the enemy.

    I mean, dawn on them BEFORE they go too far and cause that particular effect.

  4. The Thunder Run Says:

    Web Reconnaissance for 01/19/2007

    A short recon of whats out there that might draw your attention.

  5. RebeccaH Says:

    Heh.

  6. Ed Driscoll.com Says:

    “Why We Hate Us”

    Piercing the veil of Timespeak, Jules Crittenden rewrites the New York Times’ latest op-ed in much more down-to-earth terms:The presidents decision hardly ends this egregious behavior by a leading pillar of the national press. We intend to keep it up…

  7. ts Says:

    Jules, satire requires a level of writing chops that, sadly, you do not possess. But we of The Left appreciate the effort, for which you get an A+.

  8. saltydog Says:

    Who the hell said he was writing satire?

  9. Chapomatic » Notable Writing This Week Says:

    [...] Jules Crittenden is finding his inner Iowahawk, diving in the same dumpsters and shopping at the same stores. Crittenden’s got a sharp knife at times. [...]

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