Party Town Rocks
My father-in-law is a mountain of a man, a big gruff old New England fisherman whose people came across from Scotland to Nova Scotia God knows when, then down to New England, whaling, fishing, firefighting, moving rocks around. He’s got the biggest hands I’ve ever seen. I found him placing stones in a stone wall one day.
“Ever feel like you’ve been doing something for a thousand years?”
“All the time, Bob.”
… They just dug up the old house by Stonehenge.*
You may be familiar with that place. Stonehenge, I mean. That’s where, after the priests dragooned our people into cutting big rocks and dragging them halfway from Wales, they made them dig holes and prop them up. Something to do with the sun and where the hell it rises when. As if that matters. Always some priest somewhere making someone drag big rocks around. Very important.
Two miles away across the Salisbury Plain was Party Town. Eat pig and drink mead. Lots of it. That’s what they’ve just dug up. Great times at Party Town. A few too many priests around, but plenty of roast pork and mead. And maidens. Yeah, baby.
The archaeologists are poking around, trying to understand it:
“The rubbish isn’t your average domestic debris. There’s a lack of craft-working equipment for cleaning animal hides and no evidence for crop-processing.
“The animal bones are being thrown away half-eaten. It’s what we call a feasting assemblage. This is where they went to party.”
Oh yeah. Remember?
Links I have stolen in raids upon my enemies:
Those Upon Morrissey Boulevard Who Can Only Be Named in Disparagement
* The ancestral Crittenden village is about 50 miles from Stonehenge. Another branch from about 50 miles in the other direction, Wales. Bit of a hike in either case, unclear whether primeval Crittendens got roped into dragging rocks around, it just feels like it deep in my bones sometimes. Also unclear whether they showed up later to party. If future is prologue, I’m going with yes.
Topics: Britain, ancient mysteries, beer, sex
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 1:49 am on Wednesday, January 31, 2007
10 Responses to “Party Town Rocks”
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January 31st, 2007 at 4:02 am
Quick Nibbles — 2007.01.31
I’m too tired to do ‘em justice. Just read ‘em. Party Town Rocks
January 31st, 2007 at 4:03 am
Bill’s Nibbles — 2007.01.31
Some Bill’s Bites posts, some things I excerpted and linked but I’m sending you to the original post. I may rearrange the order of the links within this post as I add new things that I think belong above the
January 31st, 2007 at 4:12 am
I just love it when archaeologists tell us what people were thinking 4 or 5 thousand years ago. Hell, most people can’t figure out what other people are all about right now today.
Sounds like they had their profligate slobs, too, though.
January 31st, 2007 at 8:02 am
[...] 7. Archaeologists discovered a town near Stonehenge. Braveheart Jules Crittenden of the Boston Herald called it Party Town. [...]
January 31st, 2007 at 8:40 am
Man, somebody owes some major back-taxes on this property. My own research indicates that this was actually one large house owned by an ancient law-giver named Ian “Great Hair” Edwardeburt.
January 31st, 2007 at 10:06 am
[...] Jules Crittenden says party central has been found. [...]
January 31st, 2007 at 10:08 am
We visited Stonehenge in 1979. While I stood with my family marveling at the ingenuity and sheer determination to place those giant stones just so with nothing but muscle power, an Englishman next to me said, “I don’t know what I expected, but I expected more than a pile of rocks!” Some people live their whole lives without a shred of imagination. Sad.
January 31st, 2007 at 1:17 pm
RebeccaH, some people take skyscrapers for granted. With no thought to how such things come about, they think Stonehenge and skyscrapers are like nature, they just are. They lack more than imagination.
January 31st, 2007 at 10:05 pm
The rubbish isn’t your average domestic debris.
Sounds like some of my neighbors…
February 17th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
[...] Prior re Stonehenge: Party Town Rocks [...]