Kharnival of the Iranities
It’s Open Mike Nite at the Kharnival of the Iranities. Some of our standups will have you howling. Some might merit a polite chuckle. None of it’s really funny at all, but that’s another matter.
Standup comic/Foreign Ministry spokesman Seyed Mohammad Ali Hosseini slays ‘em with satire:
TEHRAN (Fars News Agency)- Iranian Foreign Ministry Spokesman Seyed Mohammad Ali Hosseini said that the US officials in recent months have repeatedly called for talks with Iran about Iraqi issues, specially about security of that country.
“They have tried different channels to raise their demand and we are studying these proposals now,” Hosseini said according to a foreign ministry statement.
Can’t make this stuff up, folks: The AP says Bush is down to the last hold-out of his original Axis of Evil. Never knew AP felt that way. All the talk talk must be going to AP’s head.
Stop Kamangir if you’ve heard this one before: Bush, Chirac and Ahmadinejad arrive in Hell …
Ledeen lights the place up with a couple of good ones:
Iran, short one spy in Turkey: “I told you there would be defections.”
Road from Iran, one-way street: The Double Standard.
Midwest Jim: martyrdom rules!
More Midwest Jim: Nothing strikes terror in a mullah’s heart like uppity women!
Ahmadinejad: when is Satan not America? When he is the Zionists! Ha ha ha ha!
In the news, King Abdullah and Ahmadinejad grip and grin in Riyadh:
King A: “It is so wonderful to see you (you unclean shrine-worshipping Persian goat!)”
Ajad: “So nice to meet you! How are the wives and kids? (You backward dune-wandering American lackey!)”
King A: “Are you happy to see me or is that a network of secret agents ready to strike wealthy Gulf States in your pocket?”
Why is this terrorism-supporting nuclear-ambitious Middle Eastern nation different from any other? Its ability to strike back all over the place, says Douglas Farah at Counterterrorismblog. Well … that’s why we need to kill their agents and proxies … all over the place. Badump-dump.
Obama: “Bush’s Iraq strategy strengthened Iran! My Iraq strategy calls for all-out surrender!”
Pity Iran, victim of Anglo-American aggression.
Diplomats: “All we are saying is, give sanctions (another) chance!”
Kamangir, citing Baztab: Arab oil fields on the Gulf arming up on the air defenses, Gulf states on full alert, after “the Supreme Leader talked about the obstruction of energy flow in the region in case of any Western offensive again Iran.” That one bombs. Stratfor tells a different version of the same bad joke, only with the air defenses up around Iranian oil fields.
Via Andy Cochran at CTB, the Islamic Republic is a great place to deal drugs and launder money! Beneficiaries include Iran’s bonyads, or charitable religious terrorism-financing foundations. Those mullahs have big bonyads!
Whatever else Cheney and Musharraf talked about … and the South Asia Analysis Group claims to know a lot about that … they absolutely, positively didn’t talk about Iran. No way, didn’t happen. A little odd if true, with Iran lying in between the U.S. and the Pak bedfellows, so to speak. But maybe, with that come-to-Jesus chat on Waziristan, there was no time for Persian pillowtalk.
Hans Blix, always good for a laugh, comes out pro-bribing of humiliated mullahs.
Helpful strategy suggestion from the Center for American Progress: Contain and Engage! Sorry, I don’t get it.
Eurasia.net: Washington’s mixed message … to talk, to sanction, perchance to bomb … sends a clear message to Europe and Teheran … heat’s on, better sort this out.
Iran’s man in Baghdad treads softly, like a travelling salesman trying to tiptoe out of the daughter’s room and past the sleeping farmer. Damien Cave, NYT.
Iran-Iraq War, the gift that keeps giving: Iraqi shepherds harvest leftover mines for blackmarket.
Olivier Giutta in The Examiner: Iran’s successful Shiite proselytizing among Sunni Arabs is really starting to tick off the Saudis and others, raising Sunni-Shia, Arab-Persian tensions at a particularly awkward moment. $10,000 to turn a family Shia in Syria? Now that’s what I call that old time religion. I wanna get good with the Mahdi, too. Take my eternal soul … please!
Topics: Kharnival of the Iranities
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 7:32 pm on Saturday, March 3, 2007
2 Responses to “Kharnival of the Iranities”
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March 3rd, 2007 at 9:36 pm
Nibbles // Open Post — 2007.03.03
Just read ‘em. Maybe I’ll find time to do more with ‘em later. (And some things that are too short to excerpt and too good to not mention.) Please feel free to use this post for comments and trackbacks not
March 3rd, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Bill’s Nibbles // Open Post — 2007.03.03
Some Bill’s Bites posts, some things I excerpted and linked but I’m sending you to the original post. I may rearrange the order of the items within this post as I add new things that I think belong above the