Mullahwood Blockbusters
“300″ … America’s secret plot vs. Iran. Why won’t Hollywood make movies that extol mullah virtues, anyway?
Javad Shamqadri, an art advisor to President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, accused the new movie of being “part of a comprehensive U.S. psychological war aimed at Iranian culture”, said the report.
Shamqadri was quoted as saying “following the Islamic Revolution in Iran, Hollywood and cultural authorities in the U.S. initiated studies to figure out how to attack Iranian culture,” adding “certainly, the recent movie is a product of such studies.”
The movie’s effort wound be fruitless, because “values in Iranian culture and the Islamic Revolution are too strongly seated to be damaged by such plans”, said the Iranian official.
Shamqadri, who is also a filmmaker, said that production of more domestic and artistic films which portray Iranian achievements is a proper response to movies like “300″.
Javad’s got a point. Why mess around with 2,500-year-old vaguely homoerotic bloodfests?
We should extol the virtues of Iranian culture and its achievements.
“235” … A Gore-inspired documentary about the peace-loving mullahs’ struggle vs. global warming in the face of cynical western opposition, as they try to reduce their dependence on domestic oil.
“Chadorezade” … a clever Persian girl figures out how to beguile a blood-thirsty misogynist Persian mullah who likes to bed virgins and execute them.
“Americana“ … fast-paced spy thriller with a message. It’s about the oil and the Islam, stupid! Idealistic students take over a United States embassy, poke the Great Satan with sticks for 444 days, but become wiser and more cynical with age, and decide its better have other people capture and kill Americans for them … in Lebanon, in Iraq. Secret plan to dominate the Middle East and after that … who knows?
“Ahmadinejad’s List” … Cynical pol is a softie, wants to save Muslims from evil Zionists who use the blood of children in their passover rites. He’s got a list. It’s pretty short. “Israel.”
“Picnic at Hanging Crane” … summary executions all around!
Critics’ picks:
”The Man Who Stoned Catmeat Dancing.”
“Dirty Haroun.”
“Tehranic”
And from Sunni/Great Satan-occupied Greater Persia:
“Sands of Fallujah”
“Bridges of Anbar County.”
This year’s Canadian “Irani” winners here.
Topics: Iran
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:47 am on Tuesday, March 13, 2007
11 Responses to “Mullahwood Blockbusters”
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March 13th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Why won’t Hollywood make movies that extol mullah virtues, anyway?
Mullahs and sex don’t mix on the screen. It’s haram
March 13th, 2007 at 11:51 am
Why won’t Hollywood make movies that extol mullah virtues, anyway?
For the same reason they don’t use the mullahs as villains. They don’t want to die in a fiery explosion when they get in their Priuses and turn the key. Just the very name of Mohammed in the mouth of an infidel is enough to cause riots.
March 13th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
For one thing, most mullahs know only the strictly delimited rote lessons of Islam, and are wholly ignorant of everything else. What on earth would anyone write about them that wouldn’t bore an audience of people who live in the 21st century?
Secondly, a writer wouldn’t be able to put a single judgment in the script without someone seeing it as an insult, and we all know what that means. Rebecca puts it nicely.
March 13th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
I was wondering when you’d get around to 300. Alas, I’ve only seen it twice.
March 13th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
“Cover that catmeat” just doesn’t have that box office ka-CHING ring to it.
March 13th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Bill’s Nibbles // Open Post — 2007.03.13
Some maybe I’ll find time to do more with ‘em later things and some things too short to excerpt and too good to not mention. I occasionally move things from Bill’s Nibbles to longer posts as the day goes on.
March 13th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Bill’s Nibbles // Open Post — 2007.03.13
Some Bill’s Bites posts, some things I excerpted and linked but I’m sending you to the original post, some things too short to excerpt and too good to not mention. I occasionally move things from Bill’s Nibbles to longer posts
March 13th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Sands of Fallujah/Bridges of Anbar County: Brave muslim jihadis ambush and make examples of 4 evil Crusader lackeys.
March 13th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
Dirty Haroun: Ahmedinejad asks the West if it feels lucky, and oh hey, it does.
The Tehranic: Iran decides to act tough in the Persian Gulf.
March 14th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
We Spy (so you don’t have to): Brave anonymous sources, speaking on condition of anonymity because they would be fired if they dared to Speak Truth to Power about the miserable failures of the Evil Boosh Administration and their Lying Liar Henchmen, assist the Noble Freedom Fighters at the New York Times in winning the War on Terror against the dangerous fascists who occupy the White House against the wishes of a majority of the American People!
March 14th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
The 10 Sternly-Worded Resolutions: Nuclear annihation is narrowly avoided when the stern finger of international consensus is wagged at Mahmoud Admenijhad.