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Kharnival of the Iranities

New York, New York … it’s a helluva town!

The sanctions are up! Ahmadinejad’s down!  

Shadoobie. Holocaust-denying, nuke-wanting, Iraq-meddling, Lebanon-hijacking, Israel-off-the-map-wiping Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is headed for the Big Apple! Don’t mind the maggot! Not sure when, but he wants to be there to make noise when the UN Security Council votes for sanctions on the mullahs.  That’s going to be a bummer for A’jad, but a great opportunity to sniff around for the sulphurous stink of Shaitan, who threatens the peace-loving mullahs of Iran!

Iran to America: don’t do anything ”stupid.” 

American to Iran: Don’t be “silly.” We don’t want to invade. Maybe lob a couple hundred million worth of cruise missiles, bomb terrorist-training camps and supply routes, you know that kind of thing. Invade? Nah!

So what’s A’jad going to say?  This is a good line: “The era of bullying and coercion is over. Your behavior will only result in accumulating the revolutionary wrath of the Iranian nation.” 

If you happen to run into A’jad in Gotham, remember to ask, executed any political prisoners lately? This one’s execution date passed yesterday.

May want to ask why Iran is so tough on people who talk but so easy on people who kill.

A’jad’s been having a tough time lately. Price of tomatoes up at home, Teheran cab drivers grumbling. Big US fleet bobbing offshore and mullahs telling him to cool it. On top of all that, there’s trouble in paradise. Iran’s Iraq adventure encounters difficulties.  No wonder Iran wants to chat.

On top of that, there’s that humiliating Bush-Hollywood propaganda conspiracy.  You know, the blockbuster cartoon in which 300 naked Greeks take on 250,000 Persians.

The mullahs want us to celebrate their culture.  OK!

Speaking of Hollywood, remember to congratulate A’jad on Beverly Hills election of an Iranian mayor. A Jewish Iranian mayor.  You’ll need to explain to A’jad what an election is, however. He thinks it’s this thing where you let the peasants vote, just not for anyone they want to vote for! 

Maz Jobrani on being Persian. Like the cat!

Hey A’jad, how come you’re afraid of women? Why are you throwing them in solitary? You wouldn’t want to throw a burka over a face like that, would you?

Iraqi Sunnis, fearful of Iran, make their own approach.

But bombs and terrorists are not all Iran sends over the border.

Here’s what you want to see. Iran-Syria, like that.

Lebanon is so 2006. Hot destination for 2007 … Gaza!

The Spy who came in from the Heat: Asgari may have been spying for us since 2003.

Meanwhile, Kamangir with an Iranian report that Asgari didn’t take his family with him. Kamangir gives us a little more on the missing general, and the psycho-war.

Topics: Kharnival of the Iranities

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:30 am on Saturday, March 17, 2007

2 Responses to “Kharnival of the Iranities”

1. RebeccaH Says:
   March 17th, 2007 at 10:21 am

   Will A’jad be wearing a sidearm when he mounts the UN podium to make his speech?

2. SunniKay Says:
   March 18th, 2007 at 1:53 am

   Why is that Iranian nut cases can show up in our cities and be almost completely safe, yet our tourists are told to stay away from their countries as by going there they risk kidnapping and death? (”As a result, American citizens may be subject to harassment or arrest while traveling or residing in Iran.” http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_920.html) I also find it ironic that their “Republic Day” is April 1st.

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