Dear John
My buddy Sig Christenson, back in Iraq for the fifth or sixth time, at Anaconda:
Our guys are tough enough, all right, until the Dear John letter comes. Or the phone back home rings and rings and rings into the night.
Before they left Texas, more than a few of the soldiers married on a whim. The marriage, born in the months before they deployed to Iraq, has suddenly come off the tracks.
… This is where Higgins earns his pay. His job is to listen, but also guide. Sleep, exercise and a good diet are crucial to finding some sense of balance.
Soldiers can be sent home on seven to 10 days’ emergency leave to patch things up.
But there are even other drastic measures. Higgins can, and has, taken weapons from soldiers he considers too unstable to be trusted.The grief that comes with broken love is hard on anyone, though worse for the young, he said, explaining, “When you’re 19 years old, it just feels like the end of the world.”
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 8:40 am Comments (4) on Sunday, March 18, 2007
4 Responses to “Dear John”
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March 18th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Some things never change. It was ever thus. That doesn’t change things for the individual, of course. I have a special place in my heart for those young men. I tended many of them in Viet Nam. I often wondered if those women who wrote such letters ever considered the danger in which they put the young men they once thought enough of to marry.
Stupidity doesn’t take a rest during a war, and this is one of the most unfortunate of stupidities.
March 18th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Dear Sir:
It isn’t just the military, nor is it just the 19 year olds.
I was a contractor working for my second company
in the Iraq theater when my wife of 19 years pulled the
plug, and I got the dreaded “I’ve changed” e-mail.
I’ve no statistics, but it seems that war zones are as
hazardous to the health of marriages as they are to
the health of individuals. In the few months I was in
Iraq, I must have seen at least a dozen long term
marriages end among my fellow contractors.
This is a no-brainer, of course. And even though I
thought it was coming, it caught me by surprise and
was probably just as devastating to me as it is the
mentioned 19 year olds.
Working in Iraq cost me heavily in terms of money,
(I’d have made more staying home), my health, (two
heart attacks now, and some other complications),
and sundry emotional damage; yet I remain glad to
have been able to go and aid in the work to whatever
small degree I could. I’d go back tomorrow if they’d
have me.
Whatever the cost has been, it was worth it to me if
only to witness the magnificent performance of the
largely very young members of the American Military.
Seeing their courage, fortitude, and awesome integrity,
has given me hope for the future of our country like
nothing else I’ve ever seen.
Joseph E. Carman
March 18th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
jos_carman & salty
I agree with the both of you. And jos, thanks for that bit of optimism. Dear John’s happen. All over and all the time. But it for sure hurts more when you are far removed. In a sense, just one more sacrifice our military endures.
March 19th, 2007 at 4:22 am
Mr. Carman, thank you for your post, and for all you’ve done. It doesn’t seem possible, but I think contractors get even less respect than the military, even though they endure as much. I’ve never felt that way myself, but then I’m old enough to know that no amount of money pays for some things. Again, thanks for your service and best of luck to you.