Good News Bad News
This can’t be good news: “Israeli melons have AIDS.” (h/t diligent Saudi SMS texting jihadis) Presumeably a melon gets AIDS the same way everyone else does. Brings to mind that old Middle Eastern proverb: For love, a woman; for pleasure, a boy; but for sheer ecstacy … a melon.
Reader Steve hopes this Brit got a lot of money for selling the news that his Iranian captors called him “Mr. Bean.”
When this guy finally encounters the Grim Beer Truck, that’ll be fist-pumping “Yeah!” “Beautiful” news.
Tally ho! Terrorist-dead toteboard service Northshore Journal would like to know why all the excitement about coalition dead, when the news about enemy dead is so much better.
Not exactly news, but Gaia hates Dick Cheney.
Awaiting news. Fred Thompson.
Move along, no news here. It’s just PBS providing aid and comfort to Islamofascists. A lot of that going around.
Bad news, Iran playing both sides against the middle. Good news that the United States is keeping the heat on Iran. This isn’t the first time we’ve heard that Iran likes Sunni-induced Iraqi chaos as much as it likes the Shiite kind. Now we need some really good news. US doing something about Iran.
It would be news if, instead of arguing over who’s making the troops stay longer, they’d make the Army bigger so we can just fight this war already.
Anyway, the real news that just seems to have a hard time breaking through is, we can win, we are winning, and if they don’t pull the plug, we will win.
Doesn’t mean the enemy isn’t going to fight back. Their goal is simple, and easily achieved. Create terror, scare people off.
That’s why it is inspiring news when lawmakers, in the wake of a murderous sectarian attack in their own house, gather to show unity.
Ours is a harder fight, when we have to win everywhere, all the time. But here’s some corner-turning good news. Marines in Anbar making headway.
After the initial “war czar” news was heavily dissed in WaPo, new report giving it the time of day suggests it might be a good idea.
We now interrupt the news for this important Jihadi work-safety message: Mosques don’t make good cover.
John McCain makes news when he makes a speech. Nothing new, but Churchillian tones get under their skins.
Morrocco doesn’t want to tick off Saudi Arabia. That sounds familiar.
Newsworthy: Giuliani on O’Donnell on 9/11.
Gaddafy … Khaddafi … whatever, he’s in love. With Condi.
When the heat was on, shadow prez Pelosi claimed she was carrying Bush’s message to Syria. Message-carrying news: embarrassing the president of the United States overseas serves our nation’s interest. Now she wants to serve our national interest in Teheran.
Shocking, shocking news when a WaPo reporter editorializes via news about Mitt.
100 Days of … not much news.
Hard to judge how good the news is out of Waziristan, but Red-on-Red news is always welcome.
More Pak news: Sex is hot!
OK, WILFing* a little off topic here, but since when isn’t sex news? Especially when its a puritanical principal and a teacher caught doing the nasty in his office! The Scarlet F for he who has sinned in the Eye of the Vid!
Speaking of vid, anyone surprised by the news that men like goof off with it?
Nothing sexier than guns. Old story, new news: Power comes out of the barrel of a gun. Viva la nacionalizacion!
News flash: seatbelts work. When you wear them. Also, lay off the Meatloaf.
Unexpected news, as Eric Muller gets his great-uncle Leo’s medals back.
Good news, Don Imus gets fired. Bad news, it wasn’t for years of being boring, just for five seconds of being rude. I thought that was his job. But whatever, it took the heat off America’s aging, plagiarizing sweetheart.
Apology chic: what to wear when receiving one. But what to wear when delivering one? Contrite “corpse in a cowboy hat,” down off high horse, was missing his trademark lid when compelled to cowboy up. Looking Sharp(ton)!
Forget purgatory. Imus is headed for tort hell!
Major Imus update: Pravda weighs in.
Glenn awaits the outrage after Michelle is called a ho. tap tap tap … still waiting.
*Come on, you know you do it. At least 70 percent of us admit to WILFing.
Topics: Good News Bad News
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 10:18 am on Saturday, April 14, 2007
19 Responses to “Good News Bad News”
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April 14th, 2007 at 10:48 am
WILFing? These days, more and more frequently. Um, what were we talking about?
Also, why is your site loading so slowly?
April 14th, 2007 at 11:04 am
“…they’d make the Army bigger so we can just fight this war already. ”
Too right! And grow a backbone as well.
As for the 100 Days of the Dhimmicrats….Once again, Nattering Nancy and Horrible Harry show what they are made of: Cotton candy!!! All fluff and air, no substance. Not to mention being from The Reality Based Community™!
April 14th, 2007 at 11:43 am
Jules,
The problem with these rumour-mongers talking about Israeli melons w/aids, is that they are precisely the type of morons that give REAL morons such a bad name…
Respects,
April 14th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Thanks Becks re loading. My first thought is ponderous gravitas of material, but I’m not having a problem at my end. May be local to you though I notice there’s a warning out about some blogad code slowing things down. Will monitor.
April 14th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Jules, your site loaded fine for me. The way I understand the BlogAds issue is that it involves some old proxy calls that people should have removed from their templates long before you started blogging.
April 14th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
That Israel is trading with the kingdom is news that’s largely been ignored by the US media. It wasn’t so long ago that wouldn’t have happened.
April 14th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
[...] some great links go to this post at Jules Crittenden’s place: Good News, Bad [...]
April 14th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Purple Avenger,
Yeah, it’s a little known and less talked about thing. The Arabs are quick to denouce Israel, but you know, they really like those canned grapefruit segments…..
Just one of the many complexities of political colour in the Middle East.
Respects,
April 14th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Forward Movement Spotted
Welcome Jules Crittenden readers clicking in through the blog’s homepage! The post you’re looking for on Rudy and Rosie is here; today’s blogging will occur under this post….
April 14th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Mr. Bean, huh? Had Rowan Atkinson been kidnapped, he may have instilled a bit of pride, in the Mother Country. Could be wrong, but I doubt the Persians would have called Mr. Bean, Mr. Bean.
As to this…”The HIV virus cannot survive in any temperature other than that of the human body, which cannot be reached in fruits,”
Ummm, never mind.
April 14th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
[...] More good news, bad news here. [...]
April 14th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
I know I came here to say something incredibly clever and profound, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was.
I see that Islamic Science speaks again with its usual expert voice. (And yes, there is such a thing–Ask an Imam talks all the time about the importance of Islamic Science.) Their science is right up there with that of South Africa’s leading politician/scientist AIDS expert
April 14th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Sorry about that, Ed, should be all better now.
April 14th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
The global warming is man’s fault crowd should get along with the Islamic scientists — both being faith based.
April 15th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
“For love, a woman; for pleasure, a boy; but for sheer ecstacy … a melon. ”
True, but the problem is, once you start, you can’t stop. And what do you do when melon’s out of season?
April 15th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
And what do you do when melon’s out of season?
Corndog-I realize this is the obvious joke but-Kumquat?
April 15th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Did you know that Generals have AIDES????
Cheers
April 16th, 2007 at 12:20 am
So do Admirals, JM!!!
April 16th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
CavMedic,
Good tip! I’ll have to give it a try!