His Ill-Mannered Chimpiness
George II. He is our leader. We will follow him blindly. As long as he keeps doing everything Our Dark Lords Rove and Cheney and the Wifey/Librarian say. NYT:
WASHINGTON, May 4 — How does George W. Bush, a towel-snapping Texan who puts his feet on the coffee table, drinks water straight from the bottle and was once caught on tape talking with food in his mouth prepare for a state dinner with the queen?
With tips from an etiquette guide, of course — and a little gentle prodding from his wife.
It’s easy. He has sleeves. She writes on them. Finger out of nose at the table. Cover mouth when burping. Don’t say “Y’all.” Say “Y’all, Ma’am.” Don’t gush about Di. Don’t mention Di. Especially don’t mention nothing you read in National Enquirer, Star or Weekly World News in the outhouse.
Anyway, Her Majesty’s OK. Don’t forget her subjects include 20 million Australians, who are sort of like Texans in shorts.
h/t Anchoress, who wants to know what NYT would be writing if Liz was visiting Bill.
UPDATE: Nevermind the Bollix! The Commander in Chimp fergits what century it is.
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 7:51 pm on Sunday, May 6, 2007
13 Responses to “His Ill-Mannered Chimpiness”
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May 6th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
Oh and GWB, no pull my finger stuff, huh?
May 6th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
Texans are taught manners from birth. If McChimpy learned bad manners, he got them at Phillips Academy in Andover, Mass. and Yale University.
May 6th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
I think its more telling to note that when she became queen, Elizabeth was the same age as Jenna and not-Jenna.
Hope the twins don’t barf on her shoes.
May 6th, 2007 at 11:52 pm
I’m amazaed that Her Royal Majesty dared meet with Bushco again. Why, the last time that she and Emperor Chimpy got together, America invaded Iraq! For a while, I thought that QEII had ordered Bushco to invade Iraq, but I was straightened out quickly by my friends: Bushco ordered QEII to be quiet, or “Something bad would happen.”
Soon after that meeting, Princsess Diana was killed in that very suspicious car crash. I don’t recall QEII saying anything bad about the Iraq war, so I wondered what was going on. Maybe that was a warning!?!?!??!
Anyway, alphie, I don’t think Buscho’s daughters (Jenna and Barbara) would barf on QEII’s shoes. I hear they’re going to marry Prince William and Prince Harry, to join up the Bushco Dynasty and the House of Windsor. Wouldn’t that be HORRIBLE?!?!?! THe British Royal Family connected to Emperor Chimpy? Is this part of his plan to win re-election in 2008?
WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!?!??!?!?!?!
May 7th, 2007 at 8:24 am
The idiocy of this is demonstrated by the illogic of the following alternate version, which is at least as true: ” How does George W. Bush, the third-generation scion of Connecticut bluebloods and graduate of a prestigious Ivy League university, a man who grew up around wealth and power, prepare for a state dinner with the queen?”
May 7th, 2007 at 9:22 am
If it wasn’t for the Commies, the Queen wouldn’t have shoes.
One thing I don’t understand is, how come Mr. Iraq and Afghanistan’s daughters can’t be elected Queen here in this country (that the Commies saved, by the way).
the court jester,
alphie
May 7th, 2007 at 9:39 am
Nicely put, Mgmax. That article is simply dripping with snobbery and condescension.
May 7th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
B..b..b..b..but, Real Jeff, isn’t the snobbery and condescension what we’ve learned to love and find so endearing about the NYSlimes? Where else to find such self-parody, and on a daily basis?
Didn’t the NYSlimes regularly refer to Bill Clinton as a lip-biting, skirt-chasing, draft-dodger, that tried it, but didn’t inhale?
No?
May 7th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Let’s see: He wore cowboy boots to the Queen’s dinner when his father was president. He told the Queen he was the black sheep of the family and then asked, “who’s yours.” The Queen said it was none of his business.
When he went to visit the Queen in England, the “down-home Texan” took five chefs with him and landed helicopters on her garden.
It’s not just that he’s bad-mannered. It’s that he’s bad-mannered and knows better.
May 7th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
Cowboy boots are pretty goofy no matter who wears them where, but landing choppers in a garden? That’s just plain cool!
May 7th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
Not IN a garden, Jeffy. ON her garden. Right on her 200 year old garden, including hedges and prize roses. The queen was not amused.
May 7th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Still cool! In a bad sort of way, but cool nonetheless.
But you do realize, I trust, that Bush was merely a passenger in the helicopter? He’s a former fighter jock, not a rotorhead.
Oh, wait, what am I saying? We’re talking about Bush. You blame him for everything, rationally or not.
Never mind!
May 8th, 2007 at 9:15 am
Soon the NYT will be the Daily Kos
drinks water straight from the bottle. The horror! What a brute! It’s amazing he doesn’t sleep in a cage.