Breastfeed Your Way Out of Sexist Oppression

I’m just going to get of the way and let this one tell itself. MEMRI:

The head of the Hadith Department in Al-Azhar University, Dr. Izzat Atiyya, recently issued a controversial fatwa dealing with breastfeeding of adults. The fatwa stated that a woman who is required to work in private with a man not of her immediate family - a situation that is forbidden by Islamic law - can resolve the problem by breastfeeding the man, which, according to shari’a, turns him into a member of her immediate family.

Stone the bloody crows!* 

“Being together in private means being in a room with the door closed, so that nobody can see them… A man and a woman who are not family members are not permitted [to do this], because it raises suspicions and doubts. A man and a woman who are alone together are not [necessarily] having sex, but this possibility exists, and breastfeeding provides a solution to this problem… I also insist that the breastfeeding relationship be officially documented in writing… The contract will state that this woman has suckled this man… After this, the woman may remove her hijab and expose her hair in the man’s [presence]…

Let me see if I’ve got this straight. You put a bloke and a sheila in close quarters, behind closed doors, and one thing might lead to another. According to Doc Izzat, once you suckle at the sheila’s tit, she can start removing articles of clothing.  We usually put the horse in front of that particular cart, but to each his own.

Hang on.  There’s more:

Dr. Atiyya further explained that the breastfeeding does not necessarily have to be done by the woman herself. “The important point,” he said, “is that the man and the woman must be related through breastfeeding. [This can also be achieved] by means of the man’s mother or sister suckling the woman, or by means of the woman’s mother or sister suckling the man, since [all of these solutions legally] turn them into brother and sister…

Struth!* 

“The logic behind [the concept] of breastfeeding an adult is to transform the bestial relationship between [two people] into a religious relationship based on [religious] duties… Since [this] breastfeeding takes place between [two] adults, the man is still permitted to marry the woman [who breastfed him], whereas [a woman] who nursed [a man] in his infancy is not permitted to marry him…

The esteemed doctor would appear to be a learned man.  But apparently he’s overthought the issue:

In response to the uproar caused by the fatwa, Al-Azhar university formed a committee of several experts on hadiths to investigate the matter. According to a senior Al-Azhar source, the university president also ordered Dr. Atiyya to publish an apology, and the latter complied and retracted his fatwa, [2] explaining: “My statements on the issue of breastfeeding an adult were based on the imams Ibn Hazm, Ibn Taymiyya, Ibn Al-Qayyim, Al-Shawkani and Amin Khattab [Al-Subki], and on conclusions I drew from the statements of Ibn Hajar [Al-Askalani]. However, I hold that only the breastfeeding of an infant creates a family relationship [that prohibits marriage between the parties and allows them to be together], as the Four Imams [i.e., the founders of the four Sunni legal schools] said, while the [act of] breastfeeding a grown man [mentioned in the hadith] was a [specific] incident that came to serve a [specific] purpose, and the fatwa I issued was based solely on my personal interpretation. Based on what I have learned with my brothers the religious scholars, I apologize for my earlier [statements] and retract my opinion, which contradicts [the norms accepted] by the public.” [3]

However, the Al-Azhar Supreme Council, headed by Al-Azhar Sheikh Dr. Muhammad Sayyid Tantawi, refused to accept Dr. Atiyya’s apology, saying, “We must not be too lax in matters of religion, especially when the matter at hand is a fatwa that significantly affects people’s actual lives, inclinations, and views - because it speaks to their natural emotions which [lead them to] embrace what is permitted and shun prohibitions.” Tantawi said, “Society cannot tolerate [a fatwa] that undermines its religious stability. There is enough chaos with all the unsupervised fatwas [published] on some satellite channels.

Too right, mate.* Chaos isn’t the word. 

* For some reason this one cried out for Australian expressions of astonishment.

Speaking of Australians astonished by interpretations of Islam, don’t miss Tim Blair struck near dumb to learn that “Chicks get Midgets.”

Topics: Islam

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 12:48 am on Saturday, May 26, 2007

8 Responses to “Breastfeed Your Way Out of Sexist Oppression”

  1. Ed Driscoll.com Says:

    “Breastfeed Your Way Out Of Sexist Oppression”!

    Jules Crittenden has this week’s Great Moment In Headlines–and the story behind it is a pip, too. But what role do the 72 midgets play?…

  2. alphie Says:

    Isn’t this how Cheney got his job?

  3. RebeccaH Says:

    These people are insane.

  4. Don Surber » Blog Archive » Headline of the day Says:

    [...] Jules Crittenden: ”Breastfeed Your Way Out of Sexist Oppression.” He’s prepared for the Blog Sweeps next month. [...]

  5. The_Real_JeffS Says:

    Sounds like Dr. Atiyya suffers from a particularly severe case of infantile oralism, aggravated by idiocy.

    Plus I have to wonder if he got his PhD through a mail order catalog….

  6. geoffff Says:

    Y’know, as bizarre and entertaining as this article is, as a stand alone piece, it’s the Google ads it has attracted that lift it into a work of art. Surreal. Fair suck of the saveloy. I stand in awe.

  7. pabarge Says:

    Suck a tit for Allah.

  8. While I was away... « The Blog of Fleeced Says:

    [...] Breastfeed Your Way Out of Sexist Oppression.  Jules Crittenden stumbles on an astonishing Islamic ruling: The head of the Hadith Department in Al-Azhar University, Dr. Izzat Atiyya, recently issued a controversial fatwa dealing with breastfeeding of adults. The fatwa stated that a woman who is required to work in private with a man not of her immediate family - a situation that is forbidden by Islamic law - can resolve the problem by breastfeeding the man, which, according to shari’a, turns him into a member of her immediate family. [...]

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