Islamic Rat Paradise
Bullet-splattered Apartment 222, Hamas Towers, Gaza City:
Achmed:
Farouk, you are weeping. My friend, what is wrong?
Farouk, pointing at the television:
Boo hoo hoo … Farfour! Farfour, noooooooo! The Zionist, his land … He is martyred, Achmed! Farfour is martyred! … Farfoooouuuuuurrrrr!!! Come back, Farfooooooouuuuuuurrrrr!!!
Achmed, rolling his eyes:
Come come, Farouk. It is only a children’s show. This big mouse is an actor, in a suit. Anyway, they had to stop it somehow. The Disney Corporation was very upset about this mouse thing. You think the Jews are trouble? Big problems with Disney. And now, because of our great victory over Fatah, well, you know we are in need of some friends.
Farouk:
But I loved Farfour, Achmed. So friendly. So full of hatred for Zionism. So much in love with Palestine. His ears, so big and round! The music, so happy! Every Friday after prayers, singing songs and encouraging us to fire rockets at Israel. Do you know, Achmed, just like us, Farfour did battle with Fatah, those handshakers of Jews? Oh, Farfour!!! Boo hoo hoo!!! Farfour is martyred!!!
Achmed:
There now, Farouk, it troubles me to see you this way. Look, the lesson that Farfour teaches us when he is martyred by that filthy Zionist in this dispute over land is that, sooner or later, martyrdom comes to all Muslims. Even to a very large … uh … Islamic rodent. Farfour tells us it is good to be martyred. Why even now …
Farouk:
(Sniffle) Do you think …
Achmed:
Yes, I am sure of it, Farouk. Even now Farfour is enjoying the company of 72 very large Islamic rodent virgins, in Islamic rat heaven.
Farouk, blowing his nose:
(Honk!) Well, if you say so, Achmed …
Achmed:
It is written, Farouk.
Ali, entering:
What is the matter, Farouk? You have been crying, like a little girl. This I can see. Do you require the tough love? Must I throw you from the roof again?
Farouk:
I am OK now, thank you Ali. I was just overcome for a moment. Farfour … you know.
Ali:
Farfour? What of Farfour? What is the news of Farfour? For I have missed today’s episode.
Farouk:
It is so wonderful, Ali! Achmed has explained. Farfour was beaten to death by an Israeli! He is shaheed! And now he is in Islamic rat paradi …
Ali, tearing at his beard, while voicing a primal anguish:
Farfoooooooouur!!! Nooooooo!!! Why did he have to die!?! He only sang happy songs of death to Zionists! Nooooooooooo!!! (Honk!) … Excuse me, what did you say? Islamic rat paradise?
Achmed, soto voce:
Ix-nay on the Ats-ray, Farouk!
Farouk:
Yes, Achmed explained it all. Just as there is paradise for men, so do Islamic rats, or very large mice, upon their martyrdom, arrive in a paradise where they are greeted by many rodent houris! To think, all of the dead rats, if they were martyred in righteous jihad …
Ali:
Paradise for martyred Islamic rats. I see. Achmed, please accompany me to the roof. We must talk. Farouk, you come, too. This will be instructive.
Achmed:
I can explain, Ali. You see, Farfour is a Hamas rat …
Farouk:
Aiiieeeee!!! Let go of my ear. You are hurting me, Ali!
Achmed:
Ouch ouch! Yes, I’m coming, Ali!
Related:
MEMRI: Arab editorial cartoons re Hamas takeover of Gaza. “Weapon of Resistance” gets my vote. The laughing Jew is quaint, in a sort of retro-Nazi way.
Theo Spark’s Farfourinejad
Blair’s Farfourapalooza
Newsbusters: Hamas Mouse Murdered by Jew on Air!
(WELCOME to my humble cave, Catmeat Blairis of Al-Straylia. So sad about Farfour. Farfour Akhbar! Now please, sit down while the boy fetches refreshments. Have you heard this news of Londonistan? Who could possibly be behind this thing? A mystery. American politics, also most strange. Where to lose is to win. And among these immoral infidels, so many strange bedfellows. But enough of such mundane matters. Have you not heard of the Paris Hilton? The burkha has not be made that can cover this woman!)
Later, in bullet-splattered Room 1683 at Gaza City Medical Center:
Farouk, in traction:
Achmed, look. Upon al-Internet. The Big Guns of the Crusader Navy! Ha Ha!
Achmed, in the next bed:
Farouk! What are you looking at! Please, before Ali sees!
Farouk:
It is OK. I am studying the moral degradation of the infidels. Look, this site of al-Britain. Theo Spark. This pork-gobbling alcohol-swiller is obsessed with “totty.” Oh, look here. Jihadi totty! Ha ha ha! Surely he is going to hell!
Achmed:
Let me study that. Oh, that is very sinful!
Farouk:
Give me that back! I was studying first!
Achmed:
Look! Houris! Are you sure this Spark is not a righteous Muslim brother?
Farouk:
Quite sure! Oh, see this. I must have a Nissan Pathfinder!
Topics: Al Stooges of Three
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 12:39 am on Saturday, June 30, 2007
5 Responses to “Islamic Rat Paradise”
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June 30th, 2007 at 1:01 am
Oh goody. Another episode of the Three Stooges of the Umma!
I love those guys.
June 30th, 2007 at 2:09 am
At least the Farfour finale was better than the lame Soprano’s finale.
June 30th, 2007 at 2:58 am
Jerusalem Post:
“Hamas TV on Friday broadcast what it said was the last episode of a weekly children’s show featuring “Farfour,” a Mickey Mouse look-alike who had made worldwide headlines for preaching Islamic domination and armed struggle to youngsters.”
“In the final skit, Farfour was beaten to death by an actor posing as an Israeli…”
Excellent. I like shows that have happy endings.
Also, don’t you think it’s nice of Hamas TV to accurately portray Paleswinian terrorists as large, two-legged rodents?
Give ‘em credit.
June 30th, 2007 at 8:29 am
Rat paradise?!?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
June 30th, 2007 at 9:59 am
Of course there’s a rat paradise! Where d’ya think all those terrorists go when they die?