Mullah Goose
Theo launches a Jihadi nursery rhyme contest. Here’s my entry:
Jihadi, jihadi, where have you been?
I’ve been to the ‘Stan with the mujahideen
Jihadi, jihadi, what did you there?
I got scooped and and spent five years being tortured by infidels in the hated Crusader gulag at Guantanamo.
Hey, this isn’t as easy as you’d think. You try it. OK, let’s see …
There was a morality cop who lived in Riyadh
Everywhere he looked, he saw something bad
So he whipped them and beat them and cut off their heads
And spanked them all soundly and sent them to bed …
That’s going to need some work. OK …
This little jihadi went to Bagram
This little jihadi should have stayed home
This little jihadi accidentally ate pork
This little jihadi had none
And this little jihadi, why this little jihadi, well this little jihadi went wee wee wee wee wee all the way back to Australia.
OK, I’m outta here. Your turn.
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 8:04 am on Friday, July 6, 2007
12 Responses to “Mullah Goose”
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July 6th, 2007 at 8:27 am
Another by Anon. This needs publishing.
‘Islam’s flag is deepest green,
It bears the blood of those who’ve been
Murdered by Jihadist bands,
Innocents in many lands.
They’ll raise the verdant standard high
Within its shade they’ll kill and die
We infidels will stand and sneer
They’ll never fly that green flag here.’ by Anon
July 6th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Old Yasser just loved to hump boys
Treating children like private sex toys
They’d strap on a vest
And he’d strap on his best
“Bend over, and don’t make a noise!”
by Mister Crap
July 6th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
There was a kid called Moqtada
who was concieived in the back of a Lada
his daddy was queer
his mother a deer
and their children are all f**king gaga.
July 6th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Ahmad and Khalil went up the hill,
To see who they could slaughter.
Their vests went boom and all flesh in the room
Rained down like droplets of water.
July 6th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
A Little Poem For Christmas (apologies to Hilaire Belloc
I wish jihadis would go to hell.
Noel! Noel! Noel! Noel!
July 6th, 2007 at 6:14 pm
A Little Hughe Mearnes Goes A Long Way
As I was sitting down to sup
I saw a shaheed blowing up.
He blew himself again today.
I love ‘em when they get that way!
July 6th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
An Old Jihadi Spiritual
Ol’ Allah say to make jihad
Dese bones gwine t’rise agin!
He say ‘splode for God
Dese bones gwine t’rise agin!
Chorus: I know, ‘deed I know it!
Dese bones gwine t’rise agin!
Allah put ‘em in par’dise!
Dese bones gwine t’rise agin!
Dem virgins gon’ta sex-you-lize!
Dese bones gwine t’rise agin!
But ifn’ dey don’ kill dey Joo!
Dese bones won’t ev’r rise agin!
Allah say too bad fer you!
Dese bones won’t ev’r rise agin!
July 6th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Ali al-Dill went up the hill
to plant himself a ‘splodey.
It boomed too soon,
and mujahadoon
turned into things all floaty.
July 6th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Help me, help me, stop me please!
Jihadi rhyming’s a mad disease!
Theo Spark’s an evil mahdi
Cuz I don’t even want his naughty totty!
July 6th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Allah, it appears, gets a thrill
When jihadis torture and kill.
He revels in wrath
Like a psychopath;
God help him, he’s mentally ill.
July 7th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Not a nursery rhyme but written by a goose:
The jihadi said, and here I’ll quote,
The US should not be allowed to vote,
The jhadi said, and I’ll quote again,
but if you do, board the liberal train.
July 8th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
100 Jihadi clowns on the wall
100 Jihadi clowns
Shoot one down
He’ll not come ’round
99 Jihadi clowns on the wall.