Chickenjihadi
In a flaming Jeep Grand Cherokee, M6 Motorway, northern England.
Farouk:
Achmed, see here upon my iPhone! A video!
Achmed:
Yes, yes, we all know the iPhone has video, you donkey! Now please, Mapquest. We must find that filthy infidel airport soon! How can you remain so obsessed with Paris Hilton at a time like this? … And can you please stop smoking! The righteous cans of petrol, Farouk! Anyway, don’t you know it is bad for your health?
Farouk, puffing madly:
Achmed, it is the Sheik! I tell you he has released another video. Not that fat windbag Zawahri! The Sheik himself!
Achmed, swerving wildly in traffic:
No kidding. I thought he was martyred by ill-health long ago. What does he say?
Farouk:
He extols martyrdom. Listen!
Osama:
“Happy is the one who was chosen by God as a martyr.”
Farouk:
You see, Achmed, he speaks to you. Always moping and complaining. You should be happy in your work!
Achmed:
I don’t see him driving around some infidel hellhole in a Jeep full of petrol and propane!
Farouk:
How can you say that, Achmed? The Sheik has suffered greatly. He lives in a cave, Crusaders always at his heels.
Achmed:
I’ll be a lot happier if we can find that airport. Are you sure it was not the last exit? This is the last time I go on a martyrdom with you!
What else does that skinny old goat say?
Farouk:
He quotes the Prophet.
Osama:
“He himself said, ‘By him in whose hands my life is! I would love to attack and be martyred, then attack again and be martyred, then attack again and be martyred.’ “
Farouk:
Do you hear? We should all wish for many lives in which to be martyred!
Achmed:
I haven’t noticed he is so eager to give up even one. What is it they say of the Bush and the Cheney. Chickenhawk! Bin Laden is Chickenjihadi!
Farouk:
Ha ha! Also like the Sean Penn and other pork-gobbling infidels who profess sympathy for Muslims, and yet when pushing is followed by shoving, they decline to be martyred as human shields!
Oh, look here. It is something upon al-Internet about Carlos the Jackal! He mocks us: “They are not professionals. They’re not organised. They don’t even know how to make proper explosives or proper detonators.”
How dare he say that? This Jeep of Jihad we have prepared is fiery death on wheels!
Achmed:
If that fat old communist is such a terrorist genius, why is his large revolutionary bottom planted in a French prison cell? Ptooie! I am tired of all the Monday morning jihading! Now where is that blasted airport? You know, I don’t believe we are anywhere near Glasgow at all!
Farouk, lighting another cigarette:
It is getting very warm in here, Achmed. Might we open a window?
Previously:
Pork-Gobbling Crusader Dog Starts Blogging
Topics: Al Stooges of Three
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 8:41 am on Sunday, July 15, 2007
4 Responses to “Chickenjihadi”
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July 15th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Don’t you just love an Islamo-toastie with your morning paper.
July 15th, 2007 at 9:41 am
And what had those deaths achieved? “Our example has been followed, not only by communists but even by jihadists.”
- Carlos the Jackal
By his lights, Carlos is a very successful man indeed. He pulled off uncountable murders - even he doesn’t know the final toll - and that’s all he wanted out of life. Deep in their twisted little hearts, I think that’s all jihadis want too. Take away the Islamic mumbo-jumbo and they’d have to go back to just beating their wives and killing their daughters.
July 15th, 2007 at 11:21 am
[...] The word from Jules Crittenden: Chickenjihadists. [...]
July 15th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
I think the operative word is killing. They’ve just tricked it up with obsessive religious fervor, which always makes the killing easier.
I just love “chickenjihad.” It’s one of the best neo-logisms yet.
Of course, all jihadis are chickens first. It takes courage to live a self-made life. It takes nothing to be a robot “submitting” to the bidding of what others tell you is the will of a god that demands death, death, and more death. Ever notice how little difference there is between Allah and Marduk? Bloody gods, both.