Of Mice, Bees and Men
In the rubble of a bullet-splattered apartment building, Gaza City.
Achmed:
Farouk, come see. Upon the television. It is Nahoul the Bee! Every bit as committed to jihad, martyrdom and the destruction of the Zionist entity as was Farfour!
Farouk, thumbing his Blackberry:
Yes, yes, I have seen this bee. Excuse, I am busy.
Achmed:
But Farouk, “Pioneers of Tomorrow” was always your favorite show! Listen!
Pioneers of Tomorrow:
Saraa, child host: Who are you, and where did you come from?
Nahoul the Bee: I am Nahoul.
Saraa: Nahoul who?
Nahoul: I’m Nahoul, Farfour’s cousin.
Saraa: What do you want?
Nahoul: I want to continue the path of my cousin Farfour.
Saraa: How do you want to do this?
Nahoul: I want to be in every episode with you on the Pioneers of Tomorrow show, just like Farfour. I want to continue in the path of Farfour – the path of Islam, of heroism, of martyrdom, and of the mujahideen. Me and my friends will follow in the footsteps of Farfour. We will take revenge upon the enemies of Allah, the killer of the prophets and of the innocent children, until we liberate Al-Aqsa from their impurity. We place our trust in Allah.
Saraa: Welcome, Nahoul…
Achmed:
You see, Farouk? Nahoul follows in the path of his cousin Farfour, whose martyrdom at the hands of a filthy Zionist inspires us all!
Farouk, intent on his Blackberry:
Nahoul is an insect, Achmed. Farfour was a mouse. I have no time for childish things! I must think seriously about my future.
Achmed:
I am surprised, Farouk! Surprised and pleased! You are becoming a man, showing signs of maturity. Could it be you are prepared to become a grown-up, productive member of society? Martyrdom belt in a crowded disco, perhaps? Car bomb in the marketplace?
Farouk, thumbing his keyboard more furiously:
I must go to America, Achmed.
Achmed:
Oh Farouk, I am so proud. Jihad of the highest order against the Great Satan! Blow up fuel lines at JFK perhaps? No … don’t tell me … I know operational security must be maintained.
Farouk:
I must adopt a persona, a cover story. I must plan carefully to position myself to accomplish my goals. Hmmm, let’s see …
Achmed:
My cousin drives a cab in New York. No wait … my wife’s uncle is a doctor in Milwaukee … perhaps …
Farouk, staring deeply into his screen:
That’s it! I have it! In this manner may I most closely approach my target!
Achmed:
Airline pilot? Award-winning journalist? Enlistee in the hated Crusader army? No, don’t tell me …
Farouk:
Paparazzi, Achmed! Inshallah, when Paris sees what a dashing figure I cut beyond the velvet rope she will understand that it is written we must be together! … um, Achmed, I don’t suppose you might lend me some money to buy a camera?
Previously:
Pork-Gobbling Crusader Dog Starts Blogging
Topics: Al Stooges of Three
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:23 am on Monday, July 16, 2007
6 Responses to “Of Mice, Bees and Men”
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July 16th, 2007 at 9:47 am
HAH! Maybe Nahoul can run a marathon, and get the Palis to pledge enough yo buy Farouk a camera.
July 16th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Farouk, thumbing his Blackberry:
Which thumb did you use, Farouk?…:).
Islam teaches to use the left hand to clean and wash after defecation and in the name of Allah, eat with your right hand.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:43 am
I doubt the existence of the Blackberry, which someone inserted into the story for no apparent reason. The Blackberry isn’t mentioned in the Koran and therefore should qualify as an “innovation’; innovations are forbidden the Faithful lest they interfer or hamper one submission to Allah. Thus, I doubt that Farouk, whose devotion to Allah and His Cause is sans parallèle, would have such a device in his possession.
But an iPhone with Theo on ‘one-click’? Possible …
Cheers
July 16th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
It’s a sad, sad comment on today’s world when the jihad is more afraid of Disney’s trademark lawyers than it is of Israeli missiles.
July 16th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
People who smuggle illegal Mexicans into the US are called “coyotes”. People who smuggle illegal Asians into the US are called “snakeheads”. I wonder what people are called who smuggle illegal Muslims into the US. I wonder how many Muslims raise money to get to the US by promising to carry out jihadi terror, and then kind of “forget” all about the jihadi stuff once they get here. I wonder if Farouk realizes Paris Hilton’s bodyguards would turn him into sidewalk paste if he tried to approach her.
What? Sorry, my mind was wandering. Killer bee, you say?
July 16th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Wow, if innovations are forbidden to believers, they are going to be in a world of hurt when they reach whatever version of the pearly gates they have. Just think of all the innovations they use from the Great Satan and his friends! In fact, everything they use are innovations of the Great Satan and his friends.
Does this mean that the Mahdi (zat right? that messiah guy, 12th whozits or whatever?) might not come after all if Iran uses da bomb?
Just an aside, but who the hell came up with that really sucky killer-bee costume? Don’t these people watch the old SNL or Simpson’s episodes? That thing has no personality whatsoever. If I were one of their kids, I’d rather play with my toes than watch Nahoul, the unprepossessing killer bee.