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Fatwas Upon You All!!!

By the Beard of the Prophet!

Infidels! Blasphemers! May your Stomachs roast in Hell for all eternity! How long must the Anointed Ones suffer the infernal blathering of Lying Liars Who Lie, like this monstrous Badger-person, who possesses the head of a monkey and snorts entire cattle like crack cocaine!

Throw down your diabolically stupid president, who read a book to a goat while the Jews piloted their planes of death into the Twin Towers! Even a fool can penetrate the lies of the great Satan-worshipper Bush and his coalition of the bribed, the coerced, the bought, and the extorted. They are cowards who make war upon helpless children with giant, man-eating land mammals!

“We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.”

Bah! We shall smite you and your badger army.

Obey the Wise Prophet HariReid and perform the Thousand Prostrations before your Islamist masters. If you abase yourselves quickly, there is a good chance you won’t be the first to be beheaded when the Religion of Pieces Peace comes to your country. Perhaps we shall treat you as a favored wife – not fully human (of course!) but not beaten more than thrice daily nor subjected to honor killings… so long as you obey us.

Allah (pbuh) has given the Prophet HariReid power to foretell the future! How else could he know your so-called “Surge” would fail, before the full complement of troops had landed and it had truly begun! A miracle! Inishallah, are not the works of the All-Knowing One incomprehensible to the minds of lesser beings?

Indeed, the ink was barely dry upon your Congress’ unanimous confirmation of the Traitor Betrayus when the Great HariReid cast doubt upon his honor and integrity! Is this not a marvelous supporting of the troops and listening to the generals? Truly is your 110th Congress committed to changing course - indeed, they seem to do so each time the wind blows!

Truly is it said: the wisdom and insight of the Righteous are pearls of great price! Listen to the Prophet Reid and heed the warnings of history! Do not repeat the quagmire of Vietnam, which is exactly like Iraq (except when, in the perfect judgment of Allah the Magnificent, it is not!).

Topics: GWOT, Islam, al qaeda, impending doom!

  Posted by Moqtada al-Sadr at 3:28 pm on Sunday, August 26, 2007

11 Responses to “Fatwas Upon You All!!!”

1. Gerard Van der Leun Says:
   August 26th, 2007 at 3:43 pm

   How do you say “Bite me!” in Fatwa?

2. Moqtada al-Sadr Says:
   August 26th, 2007 at 4:24 pm

   Fool of a Blasphemer!

   You shall be the first to be sacrificed upon the altar of Glorious Revisionist History when the Jihad comes to Amerikka! The Great HariReid has prophesied your downfall!

   Indeed, no matter what happens during the next 12 months, the Great Reid has already said it! He was FOR the Iraq Study Group, then he was against it! Then he was all FOR listening to the Generals… until they started saying things he found inconvenient! He supports the troops (as long as they dont actually attempt to do any fighting)! The man positively embodies the Spirit of Bipartisanship - he speaks out of both sides of his mouth at once!

   A LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!!!!

3. tanstaafl Says:
   August 26th, 2007 at 4:48 pm

   MokieBaby,

   The (not so great) HairReid is as mentally challenged as yourself.

   Hey…when are ya gonna stop bendin’ over and spreadin’ ‘em for your Iranian puppetmasters ?

   And how long can you continue to try to hang onto Dad’s coattails and pretend to have the credentials of a religious leader ? (Dad (Grand Ayatollah Muhammad Al-Sadr) of course, was assassinated by Saddam along with your 2 brothers.)

   Put a sock in it, Mokie.

   Signed,

   A Proud Infidel

4. El Cid Says:
   August 26th, 2007 at 5:06 pm

   Moqtada Moqtada Moqtada

   Meet your new husband . A step up from goat, no?

5. Moqtada al-Sadr Says:
   August 26th, 2007 at 7:22 pm

   Silence! You offend the Nostils of the Infinite with your foul Mutlterings!

   Who says the the forces of Moqtada al Sadr oppose democracy and freedom? The great Liar Boosh?

   BAH!!! I give you a free choice now, Infidel: convert or die! Moqtada loves freedom so much that he will give you one more choice: you may die by beheading, by explosion, or by torture!

   See? Those who say Moqtada does not believe in free choice are all deceivers and followers of Shaitan - all Iraqis may be perfectly free so long as they do exactly as I say! Otherwise, they are Infidels and they must die!

6. Teflon Don Says:
   August 26th, 2007 at 7:23 pm

   Chi minooh Allah.

   *ducks*

7. El Cid Says:
   August 26th, 2007 at 7:43 pm

   Moqtada baby.

   This is the deal…when Achmed, Farouk and Ali come back into view…YOU and those three bozo’s. We hit the road, say to Damacus…there you haven’t been yet…you keep seeing the Mullets…excusa, Mullah’s in Persia…BUT the deal is All 5 of us hit the road…I’m manager…I…excusa, WE,/b> make big Dinars.

   What you say, sweaty pig…ummmm, sweaty one?

8. El Cid Says:
   August 26th, 2007 at 7:50 pm

   So sorry Moqtada…Thinking of veiled lovely from The Bologna (Damacus)State…Lebanon..NOT Damscus…Also big pig…I’ve Had two *Margaritas, so I intercoursed the bold thingy.

   * No, not the drink…but two Margaritas. These poor illegals we have could not tell their twin daughters apart…so both are named Margarita.

9. Grimmy Says:
   August 26th, 2007 at 8:15 pm

   Muktard the Satyr:

   I do have hope for your future. That hope is for you to be fed, live, to pigs. Those pigs then fed to dogs. Those dogs then released into the streets of Basra and Baghdad to spread your earthly remains in stinking piles along the roads and gutters of the cities you’ve helped to torture.

   Other than that, have a nice day :)

10. El Cid Says:
    August 26th, 2007 at 8:27 pm

    My Bud Grimmy….Gosh he’s so smooth., ain’t he?…lol.

11. Grimmy Says:
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:35 am

    Muktard:

    PS. I’ll see your fatwa and raise you an edict, 2 proclamations and a SMEAC

    El Cid:

    Keep the faith, brother :)

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