Laugh Lines
Stop me if you’ve heard this one.
BTW, my main shtick at Tim Blair’s site is an irregular series of stories, usually involving topical issues, and written in the style of a pulp-fiction spoof. The principal characters include Detective Paco, an anachronistic, 1940’s-style gumshoe, complete with fedora and a line of wise guy chatter, and Sheila, his beautiful secretary, with whom Paco enjoys a mildly flirtatious (but chaste!) relationship. Occasional extras include Bogan, a dog of uncertain ancestry, and Wronwright, a brilliantly imaginative commenter at Tim’s who has graciously permitted me to fictionalize him from time to time in the role of Detective Paco’s wary assistant.
Those with a little idle time on their hands may enjoy a couple of the tales in which, among other things, Detective Paco freelances in the twilight struggle against radical Islam. Here’s a sample, in which I shamelessly stole one of Jules’ characters – the hapless Farouk, fresh from his latest escape from Guantanamo. Here’s another, built largely on a whim to employ a little double entendre. I hope you find them at least marginally more entertaining than, say, Hamster Dance. I apologize to the Blairites, who may have been hankering for a new yarn; the stories linked are what you might call summer reruns. Detective Paco’s away taking a continuing education course on the PI business (“Blackjacks vs. Brass Knuckles: Which Works Best for You?”), Sheila’s on vacation, Bogan’s boarded for a couple of weeks at Mutt Manor (nestled in a bed lined with Michael Vick’s cancelled endorsement contracts), and the 1938 canary-yellow Packard roadster is in the shop having the rumble seat reupholstered. But they’ll all be back.
Topics: Uncategorized
Posted by Paco at 7:21 pm on Tuesday, August 28, 2007
5 Responses to “Laugh Lines”
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August 28th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
But they’ll all be back.
Excellent news! Btw, for those who don’t know, I’m pretty sure Detective Paco has Robert Mitchum eyes.
August 28th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
I was thinking more like Fernandel.
Cheers
August 28th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
“…graciously permitted…“?????
Since when does Professional Authors Collection Order™ need anyone’s permission?
August 29th, 2007 at 1:50 am
For those who have never read any of the Detective Paco stories, I highly recommend them. (So who the hell are you to recommend stuff? Oh, shut-up.)
And I have it on good authority that Detective Paco does indeed have Robert Mitchum eyes. Just have look under the brim of the fedora, if you can manage it without being introduced to a rock-hard fist.
August 29th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
Yeah, what salty said.
But, you do know, Paco, it would be nice if, just every once in awhile, you’d give a nice nod to some of your henchfolk.
You know, the slubs that get sent out to convince former beneficiaries of your man’s efforts that paying their bills is the better option? And how about the poor schmoe that has the job of starting the car to make sure it’s not been boomified by someone among the baddies that your man goes after?