Women Drivers
Saudi women demand the right to drive.
Because I’m a forward-thinking progressive who supports women’s rights and anything that inches the Muslim world closer to the 21st century, I totally support this. Saudi women should be allowed to drive. Just one problem.  Â
Niqab. Burkha. The full bedsheet with a face mask. Then, throw in a cellphone and put her behind the wheel of a BMW.
Quite possibly the single most dangerous driving arrangement I have ever seen. I drive into Boston everyday. They pride themselves here on what bad drivers they are. But they aren’t even in that competition, with their rushed left-turns ahead of oncoming traffic, their anoying rotaries, their tailgating, the cutting-off and the occasional road rage incident.
What is that compared to a pair of careening Thai 10-wheelers, neck-and-neck on a two-lane road, one overloaded with rice sacks, the other overloaded with pigs in rattan baskets, both festooned with elaborate chrome scenes from the Ramakien, painted scenes from the famous duck-penis urban myth* and the mudflap visages of Sombat and Clint Eastwood? Ever find yourself facing an oncoming overloaded Pakistani bus on a one-lane track clinging to the side of a cliff 4,500 feet above the Neelam River, with another one coming up behind? Â
I’ve got to admit, the exuberant highway mantango of Argentina — two middle-aged fathers, each with his entire extended family in the car, each with his honor outraged by the presumptuousness of one who would dare pass him, flashing lights no less, locked in a death duel … that’s hard to top. The death-by-inches torture of being gridlocked in downtown Srinigar, 100 degrees in an unairconditioned Ambassador, a Tata truck’s exhaust pipe pumping soot in one window, the dung-smeared ass of a cow grazing on the median strip six inches out the other, threat of mujahideen grenade attack constant.   Name your roundabout in Bangkok or Buenos Aires, cops parked on the side smoking and yawning at the spectacle of death-defying Ben-Hur chariot-race traffic infractions  by the dozen.
But an Arab woman idly speeding and weaving at the wheel of a BMW, yakking on the cellphone, with peripheral vision narrowed to a thin slit and her arms wrapped in black folds of cloth, screaming kids in the back. Throw in a Starbucks Grande Latte Non-fat whatever, and …
I have seen this. In Kuwait, where the avenues are broad and not overly congested. I presume the same is true of Saudi, where I have never been. This just allows them to get their speed up, competing as a road horror with the macho displays of young men on rice-rockets wearing Motocross body armor. Testosterone not required however for sudden unexpected high-speed road maneuvers, and the explosive flash of speed-detector cameras on the highways, as near as I could tell, was only a startling distraction.
Anyway, here’s Saudi Feminist Wajeha Al-Huwaidar:
“In the name of Allah the Merciful and the Beneficent: Al-salam ‘alaykunna (peace be upon you women), and Allah’s mercy and blessing.
“On the occasion of the second anniversary of the accession of the Keeper of the Two Holy Sites, King ‘Abdallah Bin ‘Abd Al-’Aziz, and with the national holiday approaching on September 23, we, the League of Demanders of Women’s Right to Drive Cars in Saudi Arabia, announce that we will be delivering a message to King ‘Abdallah, may Allah preserve him, demanding that he return that which has been stolen from women: the right to [free] movement through the use of cars, [which are] the means of transportation today.
“This [right to free movement] is a right that was enjoyed by our mothers and grandmothers in complete freedom, through the means of transportation available in their day.
“Women interested in being among the signatories to the message should send this in writing as soon as possible, so that we can deliver the message on the national holiday…
“We would like to remind everyone that rights are not given or earned; they are taken, through the various peaceful means available - [means] that have been recognized by all international conventions.
“Thank you for your cooperation and for your awareness of your rights,
“[Signed,] The League of Demanders of Women’s Right to Drive Cars in Saudi Arabia.
“Women interested in signing are requested to send the following information: name, profession, nationality, and city of residence, to yes2womendriving@hotmail.com.”Â
Let them drive, Saudi Arabia. Enter the 21st century. Let them convey themselves to the supermarket and the mall and wherever the heck else they want to go. But for the love of Allah, lose the niqab. Tell your medieval-minded imams and whip-wielding religious cops that women can be more convenient, dutiful wives if they drive themselves, and tell them they must be forgiven a little exposure as a safety measure. Much like Ramadan restrictions are set aside for soldiers at war and travellers.   Â
* I suppose it’s not fair to throw around terms like “duck-penis urban myth” without explanation.  I read it in the Bangkok Post circa 1974. An angry wife bobbitted her cheating husband and tossed it out the window. The cops arrived, went to look for it, and had to chase down the ducks who had it in the alley outside. It was in the newspaper. It must be true.Â
Before long this theme was featured in the elaborate decoration of Thai trucks. I saw it depicted as a bucolic village scene on a pair of matching mudflaps.  Man in pakama, clutching himself, fear in his eyes, running. Enraged woman close behind, wielding a butcher’s knife. Eager ducks close on her heels.Â
Welcome PJM etal! So good to see you, come on in. Stop me if you can’t bear to hear this one. NYT Lies, People Will Die. Feeling hemmed in? Squeeze play will set you free. Wish we were there. OK, OK, I’ll put a lid on it.
Topics: saudi arabia
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 8:10 am on Thursday, September 13, 2007
10 Responses to “Women Drivers”
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September 13th, 2007 at 8:31 am
They will want to vote next and then we will all be in trouble!!
September 13th, 2007 at 9:24 am
“The death-by-inches torture of being gridlocked in downtown Srinigar, 100 degrees in an unairconditioned Ambassador, a Tata truck’s exhaust pipe pumping soot in one window, the dung-smeared ass six of a cow grazing on the median strip inches out the other, threat of mujahideen grenade attack constant.”
Oddly, I was somewhat turned on by that passage!
September 13th, 2007 at 9:31 am
Heh! Yeah, those Kuwaiti drivers were bad enough when they weren’t wearing burkas………
September 13th, 2007 at 10:18 am
“The League of Demanders of Women’s Right to Drive Cars in Saudi Arabia”
Now that is an organizational TITLE!
I can almost see the side view mirror still dropping of the side of the small Fiat that had just crashed into the LMTV driving ahead of me on the way to Kabul International Airport. The cops hanging out by the traffic circle looking bored, barely even shrugging at it…
Or the mafiosi trying to spin their Mercedes around the horse carts outside of L’Viv, Ukraine. Ha!
September 13th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
We once saw two Italians going at it in the Brenner Pass. One managed to cut the other off and stop him, then jumped out of his vehicle and ran over and tore the glass out of the other’s driver side window. We kept going, so never got to see what happened after that.
Maybe the Saudis need to see a few of those duck penis myth paintings here and there. Might give them something to think about.
September 13th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Web Reconnaissance for 09/13/2007
A short recon of what’s out there that might draw your attention, updated throughout the day…so check back often.
September 13th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
So how do the men of Arabia respond to the demands of their women to step out from under their collective thumb?
Brave women, tents and all.
September 14th, 2007 at 2:07 am
This post brings to mind PJ O’Rourke’s description of his death defying ride in a Cairo taxi.
September 14th, 2007 at 6:15 am
Great. More VBIED drivers. Just what the world needs…
September 14th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Hey, TB, at least the Islamic terrorists are practising some form of equal opprotunity…..