Good News Bad News
It’s been a while since I did a good news/bad news round up. But sometimes, the very goodness and badness of news is news:
Good news. Dozens died in Syrian-Iranian chemical weapons experiment.
Proof of cooperation between Iran and Syria in the proliferation and development of weapons of mass destruction was brought to light Monday in a Jane’s Defence Weekly report that dozens of Iranian engineers and 15 Syrian officers were killed in a July 23 accident in Syria.
According to the report, cited by Channel 10, the joint Syrian-Iranian team was attempting to mount a chemical warhead on a Scud missile when the explosion occurred, spreading lethal chemical agents, including sarin nerve gas.
That’s beyond good news. That’s infotainment. The bad news? Here we go again, having to convince the handwringers of this world there are actual bad people who would do evil with illegal weapons, and need to be killed. Good news, Israel’s on it. A little of that can go a long way.
What looked like good news … French FM Kouchner warns the world to “prepare for war” … gets a quick update: French FM Kouchner urges the world to “negotiate, negotiate, negotiate.” Not exactly news, from Ahmadinejad, “We do not take these declarations seriously.”
In other French news, at least one right-thinking Frogman is continuing with his preparations.
Good news on the homefront. Attention-seeking jerks sometimes get what they want, and more. “Don’t Tase me, Bro!” Bad news. In this day and age, there are cops who haven’t figured out that Tasing someone, no matter how gratifying it may be, in front of the cameras is a bad career move. Good news. Whether its fair to hold Kerry responsible for any of this, even people who voted for him are finally figuring out how ineffectual he is.
And here’s some different news. Turns out Tasering of a jackass is a positive side effect of the Iraq war. At least I think that’s what he wanted to say.
Gateway to Good News: fewer Saudis choosing to explode in Iraq! Also, incongruously, average hours of electrical power up, average number of bodies in Baghdad hospitals down.
Riehlly bad news: what if someone told us they wanted to take us over, and we didn’t listen?
Good news: Army recruitment is trending better than Witcover’s readership.
Astonishing news. You’re actually kind of wrong, John of Argghhh!!! I don’t know what the heck happened to Jennifer Loven.
What’s not to like about this news? No new pols.
News of the fun! Buttonholed Murtha is asked if he wants to apologize to Marines he called cold-blooded murderers, now that charges have been dropped against several of them. Best he can come up with seems to be a suggestion that judgment should be withheld as long as any proceedings continue. No kidding! Murtha points out other obviousness: “This is an elevator.”
Global news to warm to: No U.S. city cracks the top 50 in world’s most polluted places.
News that flipped: Greenspan wishes Bush would just admit it was about oil … no, Greenspan thought it was about oil. War for oil was good news.
The bad news here is, you missed your chance to bid on Belgium. Think how much different history would be in they had eBay in 1914 … “Brunhilde, liebchen, I haff bought you the most wunderbar French doormat! Auf eBay!”
Non-news: Ox-goring is a one-way street.
Quick Manilow newsbreak.
Think Globally, Annoy Locally. Bad news, as greenies are encouraged to proselytize. Now here’s what I call zealots.
This bad news sounds like a bad DREAM.
This news is even worse. Planet Earth under zombie attack.
If you haven’t been to Jungle Trader, you don’t know news.
Meanwhile, good news. Hunting al-Qaeda can be fun as well as dangerous. Our guys continue to be better at hunting them than they are at hunting us. By at least five-to-one, extremely conservatively.
Good news: American flags are stylish in Baghdad.
Sometimes, all news is good news. When its real news.
News flash: They love a man in a uniform.
Here’s good news for some friends of ours. With an update.
But it’s not all good news in Iraq. There is the part that is already being abandoned.
Man bites news: Saudi cleric vs. Jihad.
But we’ve had it wrong all along. All we need is love! What’s so funny about peace love and human understanding?
Good news: Some things still make people uncomfortable.
In gender news, IDF mulls GI Jane.
Bad news. None of this is really news at all. Except maybe in a World War Groundhog Day kind of way.
Brighten up! There’s always good news. Think of all bad news that can be put down to so much PSH.
Topics: Good News Bad News
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 1:44 am on Wednesday, September 19, 2007
4 Responses to “Good News Bad News”
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September 19th, 2007 at 8:21 am
If that’s being wrong, I can handle it!
September 19th, 2007 at 8:40 am
[...] Jules Crittenden has “Good News, Bad News.” [...]
September 19th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Zombies. Why does it have to be zombies?
Spreaking of zombies… well, maybe not, but that video of Murtha scuttling into the elevator like a big fat crab waving its eyestalks and pincers around was priceless. He looked like he was on the verge of a PSH attack. I hope to see more like that.
September 19th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
PSH, Rebecca? I thought it was severe constipation. That would explain much of Murtha’s personality.