Commeinists
Amir Taheri’s must-read laughriot on a Commie-Khomeini lovefest gone badly wrong at Tehran U. NY Post:
ANXIOUS to create what they call “a global progressive front,” Presidents Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran and Hugo Chavez of Venezuela are sponsoring projects to underline “the ideological kinship of the left and revolutionary Islam.”
…
The hope was that the conference would produce a synthesis of Marxist and Khomeinist ideologies and highlight what the Iranian leader has labeled “the divine aspect of revolutionary war.” But the event itself proved rather embarrassing.
The conference title was “Che Like Chamran,” a play on words designed to emphasize “the common goals” of Marxism and Islamism. It honored Mostafa Chamran on the 26th anniversary of his death, which coincided with the 40th anniversary of the death of the Cuban-Argentine guerrilla icon Che Guevara.
Chamran was a Khomeinist militant of Iranian origin who became a U.S. citizen in the ’60s before traveling to Lebanon, where he founded the Amal guerrilla group. He entered Iran in 1979 and helped the mullahs seize power. Appointed defense minister by Khomeini in ‘81, he died in a car crash a few months later.
The conference had three guests of honor: Mahdi Chamran, a brother of Mostafa and an Ahmadinejad associate, and Che’s daughter Aleida and son Camilo.
Aleida, a pediatrician who lives in Havana, wore the mandatory Khomeinist hijab, while her brother had grown designer stubble to please the hosts. Also attending were an array of aging European and Latin American “Guevaristas” and Lebanese Hezbollah cadres.
Sounds like fun already.
At first, the conference was all clear sailing as participants agreed that the sole source of world evil was America and its “earth-devouring ambitions.”
The Khomeinists were pleased to hear their European and Latin American guests denounce “America’s criminal plans to attack the Islamic revolution,” and insist that Iran had every right to develop its nuclear capabilities. The aging Guevaristas were equally pleased as their hosts praised the dead T-shirt poster boy as “a fighter for universal justice.”
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Things went pear-shape thanks to one keynote speakers, Hajj Saeed Qassemi, whose title is “coordinator of the Association of Volunteers for Suicide-Martyrdom.” Praising the late “Che” as “a true revolutionary who made the American Great Satan tremble,” he “revealed” that Guevara had been “a truly religious man who believed in God and hated communism and the Soviet Union.”
“Today, communism has been consigned to the garbage can of history as foreseen by Imam Khomeini,” Qassemi said. “Thus progressists everywhere must accept the leadership of our religious, pro-justice movement.”
Demanding the right to respond, Aleida Guevara told the conference that Qassemi’s claim might be based on a bad translation: “My father never mentioned God,” she said as the hall sighed in chagrined disbelief. “He never met God.”
The remarks caused a commotion amid which Aleida and her brother were whisked away, led into a car and driven to their hotel under escort.
Aleida apparently didn’t know the hijab on her head is symbolic for the one Islam would shove in her mouth. But the Khomeinites must have assumed Commies are used to sitting and politely nodding or applauding enthusiastically for all kinds of absurdities, why should this absurdity be any different?
Qassemi returned to the podium to unleash an unscripted attack on “godless communists.” He called on “the left in Latin America and elsewhere” to clarify its position. He claimed that Guevara and his “Supreme Guide Fidel Castro” had decided to hide their religious beliefs in order to secure Soviet support.”
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A few hours after the incident, the Guevara siblings attended another meeting, this time organized at Amir-Kabir University by a group called the Mobilization of the Downtrodden Militia. Camilo Guevara confirmed his sister’s earlier remarks but insisted that “progressists everywhere” focus on fighting America rather than probing each other’s personal beliefs.
By the end of the day, the two Guevaras had become nonpersons. The state-controlled media, which had given them VIP billing, suddenly forgot their existence.
The Islamic Republic bans all non-Khomeinist ideologies, but two are specifically punishable by imprisonment or death: socialism and liberal democracy.
The Guevaras succeeded in exiting the IRI without doing Iran’s traditional crane dance or being shoved in a van and carted off for an electrifying evening. But not before pissing off even the local Commies.
The two Guevaras, who left the Islamic Republic in some haste, managed to anger some Iranian progressists. The siblings refused to mention the mass arrest of workers’ leaders throughout Iran in the last few months or condemn the current wave of repression against trade unions, women’s organizations, teachers and farm workers.
“These people don’t give a damn about the toiling masses,” says Parviz Jamshidi, a lawyer for imprisoned trade unionists.
Sad, when shitbirds of a feather discover they can’t flock together. But I’ll bet Aleida will be dining out on that tale in Havana: “Have you ever heard of such a thing? These backward mullahs not only believe in God, they expect everyone else to!” If the Commies don’t shove that hijab in her mouth, that is.
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 10:40 pm Comments (6) on Friday, October 12, 2007
6 Responses to “Commeinists”
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October 12th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
As they say in some quarters: Heh.
October 13th, 2007 at 12:02 am
“Progressists?”
October 13th, 2007 at 12:08 am
What a delightful story!
Since “the enemies of my enemies are my friends” and my enemies are, apparently, all enemies of one another, I am legitimately entitled to love everyone, as a good Christian (which I aspire to be) ought to.
October 13th, 2007 at 12:20 am
When I first read this, I had to wonder if the Onion had stolen the NY Post’s URL. Nope, it’s real…….
“the ideological kinship of the left and revolutionary Islam.”
Once again, we observe Blair’s Law in action.
“Today, communism has been consigned to the garbage can of history as foreseen by Imam Khomeini,” Qassemi said. “Thus progressists everywhere must accept the leadership of our religious, pro-justice movement.”
Must have been a real doozy of a cat fight there. And dissing Che that way can’t be good for inter-ideological relationships. But I must admit that I first read ““Che Like Chamran” as ““Che Like Charmin””
The Islamic Republic bans all non-Khomeinist ideologies, but two are specifically punishable by imprisonment or death: socialism and liberal democracy.
My, my, such a display of cognitive dissonance. What would Lenin do?
If the Commies don’t shove that hijab in her mouth, that is.
More like electrodes. Or a pistol. Can’t be messing with that cash cow, can we?
October 13th, 2007 at 11:30 am
Ha — what a joke! Doesn’t surprise me at all !! All of them idiots — the lot of them.
October 13th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
But will the “progressists” acknowledge that they’ve been overtly warned–again? Will they check their premises and choose a more rational course of action against those who have given them an explicit explication of their position? Do they even realize they’ve been warned?