Phishing the Euphrates
Look what arrived in the inbox from Sgt. Williams Kola, “From US Arm (sic) in Baghdad,” aaaaaa_1@myway.com:
Attention
How is everything going, I hope great? Though I have not considered this medium to be the best manner to have approached you on this issue being that the internet has been greatly abused over the recent years and is very unsecured for information’s of vital importance.I have decided to take the chance seeing that no other means could have been faster and more efficient than the E-mail. I write to you Irrespective of the fact you do not know me, but please do consider this Letter as a request from a brother in need of assistance.
My name is WILLIAMS KOLA (Sgt) an American soldier; I am serving in the Military of the 1st Armored Division here in Iraq. As you know we are being attacked by insurgents everyday and car bombs, it will come worst now Saddam Hussein was executed. During one of our rescue Mission we came across a safe that contains the total sum of $21,000,000 (Twenty one Million Us Dollars) that belongs to the revolutionaries, which I believe they use in buying weapons and ammunitions, and it was agreed by all party
Present that the money will be shared amongst us. You can go to this web link to read about events that took place here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stmOut of the total fund my share was $8,000,000 (Eight Million US Dollars).
I am seeking your assistance to evacuate my share of the money, which is $8,000,000 out of here to you; in as much as you can assure me that my own share will be safe in your care until I complete my service here.
This is no stolen money, and there are no dangers involved, as I have made arrangements with a UN representative based in Asia who promised to deliver the fund to any of my choosing destination. I shall be compensating you with US$2,500,000.00 (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) on final conclusion of this project, while the rest shall be for me for my investment purposes.
One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this matter with a third party, should you have reasons to reject this offer, please destroy this e-mail as any leakage of this information will be too bad for me.
I do not know for how long we will remain here, and I have survived two suicide bomb attacks, which prompted me to reach out for help because I will be migrating to you to invest and start a new life not as a soldier anymore.
Please if this proposal is acceptable by you, kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone numbers for quick communication also your home address where the fund would be delivered.
As soon as I receive your email with the information, I will furnish you with full details on when and how the fund shall be delivered to you by the diplomat and he will make a contact with you before anything move.
Waiting for our urgent reply.
Best regards,
Sgt. WILLIAMS KOLA
A lot of nice touches in there. Kind of like this, only for money instead of Allah. Check out the detail:
My name is WILLIAMS KOLA (Sgt) an American soldier; I am serving in the Military of the 1st Armored Division here in Iraq. As you know we are being attacked by insurgents everyday and car bombs, it will come worst now Saddam Hussein was executed.
And I am Jules Crittenden employed by the Newspaper of the Herald here in Boston. This is also very touching:
I do not know for how long we will remain here, and I have survived two suicide bomb attacks, which prompted me to reach out for help because I will be migrating to you to invest and start a new life not as a soldier anymore.
With many joys I look forward to your migrations and unsoldierly new life! Please contact most confidentially with phone numbers and addresses I gladly help you to U.S. program of assistance: Free$$$ Bonanza Institute, J. Edgar Hoover Bldg., 935 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington DC. My most confidential number is 202-324-3000. Please request to be connected to the Internet Crime Complaint Center, explain everything and my most trusted friends there will do everything possible to assist you.
Or, Williams Kola (Sgt.) of the Military 1st Armored Division, you may access my bank account directly by filling out your information here. You may rest assured there is only honor amongst us non-thieves of Baghdad.
Topics: shameless opportunism
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 8:40 am on Thursday, November 15, 2007
14 Responses to “Phishing the Euphrates”
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November 15th, 2007 at 9:22 am
TO: WILLIAMS KOLA (Sgt)
Sgt., Your email has touched me deeply. While I do NOT support your effort and those of your fellow soldiers, I am very interested in the $2,500,000.00 (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) .
You see, I couldn’t get enough of the American taxpayer dollars for my pet projects, back in my home state (for you dullard American Soldiers, we refer to it as “pork”). It makes sure that my efforts in reelection are successful.
I am providing you with the neccessary contact information and look forward to receiving the $2,500,000.00 (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand Dollars)
Reid, Harry- (D - NV) Class III
528 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510
(202) 224-3542
(Because A fellow sellout Senator was correct when he stated in so many words, that you people are stupid for getting “stuck” in Iraq, it is Harry Reid- (D-NV) , NOT Reid, Harry. (pay no attention to the Class III thingy, that’s just my IQ)
Should you choose, THIS is a much better contact form for the $2,500,000.00 (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand Dollars). You see, I control the U.S. Senate and the JERK that is President would never order a raid on my office, or touch any of its contents.
Keep fighting, you idiot and screw the Iraqis, but please make sure the $2,500,000.00 (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) is forwarded.
The Honorable Harry Reid-(D-NV)
November 15th, 2007 at 9:25 am
Gosh, wait until I tell Nancy, maybe she can get in on this too.
November 15th, 2007 at 9:52 am
The last soldiers in Baghdad who found a stash of cash, and decided to keep it, were courtmartialed. Methinks that the good “Sgt” Kola ought to research his on line persona better.
Next time, maybe a newspaper editor who found a suitcase of cash in the men’s room?
November 15th, 2007 at 10:37 am
El Cid, that was such a good idea.
I’m sure Sgt. Kola will enjoy…hooking up with…the Great HairReed.
November 15th, 2007 at 10:37 am
Huh. Hey Sarge, looks like you’d better get hopping on getting your AKO account. Seems nobody named Kola has one. It will now come worst for you since it is an Army Regulation for having one you and will be too bad for you.
Putz.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:38 am
Wow, talk about PTSD. Sgt Kola, you better get checked out for that. This guy can help you:
Reid, Harry- (D - NV) Class III
528 HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING WASHINGTON DC 20510
(202) 224-3542
November 15th, 2007 at 11:56 am
I thought that employing an Asian UN diplomat as a mule was a nice touch.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:57 am
What?
Hey, it looks legit to me!…
November 15th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Hey, we could all do worse than take lessons from this guy.
November 15th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
This must be a second cache of cash. Sgt Scott tried to interest me in one last year but I was unable to respond in a timely fashion; these opportunities are fleeting, so make the best of this one.
Cheers
November 15th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Filled out Reid’s email form, dare I send it?
The message reads (no pun intended)….
Mr. Williams Kola
650 E. Azure Ave.
North Las Vegas, NV.
89081
email: sgtwilkola@msn.net
Thank you for giving me your information. The $2,500,000.00 (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand Dollars), will be forwarded soon.
November 15th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Ahhhh, SCREW IT…Maybe I can request Eglin AFB. I hear it’s rather nice. Eglin is in the Panhandle of FL., about 40 miles from my beach house. Even has a nice golf course or two, wonder if I can play it while there.
SENT!
November 15th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Nice tennis and boccie courts etc at Eglin. I visited an ex-bank president there a while ago. All the prisoners were walking around in designer jeans and Air Jordans (confiscated counterfeits). I think they filled in the swimming pool a while ago though.
No fences or anything gauche like that. Just a white line painted on the ground the prisoners aren’t supposed to cross.
November 15th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
WOW, P A…Sounds fantastic. Passed by Eglin many, many times…never IN, tho. With my luck, they’d send me to Herbie (Hurlburt Field) next door.
Ad in the Panhandle area news…They need target holders for the AC-130’s based there….:).