Thaw Canada
I’m doing my bit. I have an old beer fridge in the basement. Why, I just went and got a couple of beers out of it. How about you? What have you done for Canada lately?
Scientists have found a new threat to the planet: Canadian beer drinkers.
The government-commissioned study says the old, inefficient “beer fridges” that one in three Canadian households use to store their Molson and Labatt’s contribute significantly to global warming by guzzling gas- and coal-fired electricity.
“People need to understand the impact of their lifestyles,” British environmental consultant Joanna Yarrow tells New Scientist magazine. “Clearly the environmental implications of having a frivolous luxury like a beer fridge are not hitting home. This research helps inform people — let’s hope it has an effect.”
The problem is that the beer fridges are mostly decades-old machines that began their second careers as beverage dispensers when Canadians upgraded to more energy-efficient models to store whatever Canadians eat besides doughnuts and poutine.
University of Alberta researcher Denise Young, who led the study, suggests that provincial authorities hold beer-fridge buy-backs or round-ups to eliminate the threat — methods that Americans use to get guns off the streets.
Beer fridge buyback? When you pry my cold, dead fingers off it.
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 11:33 pm on Thursday, November 29, 2007
8 Responses to “Thaw Canada”
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November 30th, 2007 at 1:08 am
Why don’t these people just STFU?
November 30th, 2007 at 1:57 am
Is it OK if i mostly use it for wine?
November 30th, 2007 at 3:33 am
It always comes down to some puritan throwback, huh. And they don’t even pretend to be trying to save your immortal soul. Nope, it’s the very universe that your beer fridge is endangering.
The woman as much as said that beer is a frivolous luxury. Stupid broad. I’ll say this much: With people like this trying to run your life, beer (or wine) becomes ever more important.
November 30th, 2007 at 8:17 am
[...] Jules Crittenden is hanging on to his. [...]
November 30th, 2007 at 9:11 am
[...] Jules Crittenden: Beer fridge buyback? When you pry my cold, dead fingers off it. [...]
November 30th, 2007 at 10:12 am
Well, they already have the cold part don pat …
December 1st, 2007 at 9:39 am
You can have my beer fridge when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.
Feel free to grab a beer out of it, though. That’s why it’s there.
December 2nd, 2007 at 8:41 pm
You will all please remember the words of that great American, Ben Franklin: “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”