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The Curse of the Bundchen

Here’s Hitler, Cowboys fan (YouTube, with a nod to Instapundit),  enraged that Tony Romo, like a Teutonic hero of old, allowed himself to weakened by a yodeling, curvaceous Lorelei.

Now some Pats fans are wondering whether another Teutonic sprite, the Bundchen, cursed them last night and brought low their tall, dashing, indomitable hero, so cool in the midst of strife. Boston Herald:  

They’re done. The clocks ran out. Brady has no more plays. Mr. Mayor, cancel the victory march, the Pats’ season is over.

Hundreds of dejected fans left Fenway Park-area bars last night, not to the cheers of victory or the rambunctiousness of jubilant college students, but to the soft moans, gentle weeping, hugs and curses of fans that lined the sidewalks in the area that should have been filled with rowdy revelers.

“What can you say,” said Jay Green, 33, of Londonderry, N.H. “Eighteen-and-1 doesn’t really count. You lose one game all season. Too bad it couldn’t be in the regular season.”

Green and others weren’t quite sure how to face the image that replayed on their minds. Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was handed the ball with about 30 seconds left in the game. Yet, the Patriots were defeated.

“Brady choked. Brady choked,” said Chris, outside the Cask N’ Flagon. “He was caught up with Gisele Bundchen.”

The very Valkyries sing this terrible, shrill aria:

There was no logical explanation for the Perfect Patriots stumble. Which led to some rather interesting theories, our favorite, of course, being The Curse Of The Babe. No! Not THAT Babe . . . the other one the supermodel sitting up in the luxury boxes sipping wine whilst her QB/QT got pummeled like a rag doll by the Giants D!

AOL’s Jim Armstrong rather trenchantly pointed out that “bad stuff tends to happen to jocks who run around with Hollywood hotties. Case in point: Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, last spotted doing the L.A. club scene with Jessica Simpson instead of getting ready for Sunday’s game.”

Tony Parker, who is married to “Desperate Housewife” Eva Longoria went on the injured list this week with bone spurs in his heel,” Armstrong pointed out.

And of course Brady, who has been with Gisele Bundchen for all of what had been his best season ever, was limping around New York in a cast the week before the big game.

“What, you think these are all coincidences?” said Armstrong. “Maybe you’re right. I used to think so, too, but not anymore.”

Wethinks he’s onto something . . .

Other hotties who did no favors for the jocks in their life include Robin Givens, (Mike Tyson), Halle Berry, (David Justice), Kim Kardashian (Reggie Bush), Marilyn Monroe, (Joe DiMaggio) and Paris Hilton, (Matt Leinart).

File Under: Cherchez la femme.

I dunno. Who could blame him? But I don’t think you can blame the Babe for 86 years of you know what. I don’t think you can blame the babe for this thing, either. I think the guys lost this one.

Meanwhile, Surber examines the runes amid the ruins, sees something else entirely. Red State Giants beat Blue State Pats. I’m not sure which Red State he’s talking about though. Eli Manning from Louisiana vs. Tom Brady from California, I guess. Hey, you can’t hold geography against someone …

Romney: Me and Brady traded emails. No politics, though. “I wish he’d send me a couple of plays,” said Romney … yesterday. Brady, whose most public position is pro-Bundchen, reportedly leans right, though the Gerald Ford admiration may have more to do with football than politics given his voting record.  

Anyway, like they say, there’s always next year. Whatever his politics are or aren’t, maybe someday America will want a president who’s cool under pressure … and can get us back in the hot First Lady game.

Topics: Boston, sports, supermodels

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 8:47 am on Monday, February 4, 2008

3 Responses to “The Curse of the Bundchen”

1. RebeccaH Says:
   February 4th, 2008 at 12:00 pm

   Sure, blame it on the women. But what would they say if Tom Brady, say, had the hots for Tony Romo? Or, for arguments’ sake, Eli Manning?

   The Giants played better than the Patriots, because the Giants were hungry and the Patriots were overconfident. End of story.

2. OBloodyHell Says:
   February 5th, 2008 at 8:30 am

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   Please don’t stare at the Bundschen.

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3. Grimmy Says:
   February 5th, 2008 at 10:17 pm

   I make no secret of being a Pats fan, but the Giants earned that win. They played their hearts out.

   I watched the game. I don’t think the Pats choked. I think the Giants just out played them.

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