Geraldine Through the Ages
Ferraro, 2008: “If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman, he would not be in this position.”
Ferraro, 1988: “If Jesse Jackson were not black, he wouldn’t be in the race.”
Ferraro, 1984: “If I wasn’t a woman, I would not be in this position … hey, help me out here, what rhymes with rich? ”
Ferraro, 1980: ”If that peanut farmer had grown a set, he might have a prayer in this race.”
Ferraro, 1974: “If Nixon weren’t so paranoid, he wouldn’t be in disgrace.”
Ferraro, 1963: “If JFK had stayed out of Dallas, you wouldn’t know LBJ’s face.”
Ferraro, 1932: “If they show FDR from the waist down, the voters won’t much like that brace.”
Ferraro, 1865: “If John Wilkes Booth had stuck to Shakepeare, Abraham Lincoln would still be taking in plays.”
Ferraro, 1805: “If Napoleon were three inches taller, he wouldn’t be running the place.”
Ferraro, 1793: “If Marie Antoinette had kept her yap shut, Louis XVI might still be in Versailles.”
Ferraro, 1789: “Thank God for wooden teeth, or George Washington would have a screwy-looking face.”
Ferraro, 1536: “If Henry was thinking with big crowned head instead of little crowned head, England would be a different place.”
Ferraro, 1431: “If Joan just kept to her knitting, she wouldn’t be roasting on that stake.”
Ferraro, 1227: “If Genghis Khan wasn’t such a bad-ass Mongol, he wouldn’t be halfway to Alsace.”
Ferraro, 610: “If Mohammed would come out of that cave, he’d make a heck of a sheikh.”
Ferraro, 33 AD: “If Jesus weren’t so holier-than-thou, they might nail up Barabbas in his place.”
Ferraro, 323 BC: “Alexander would be a lot greater if he’d steer clear of the grapes.”
Ferraro, 1213 BC: “I don’t know what’s bugging Moses, but I’ve had it with the frogs all over the place.”
Ferraro, 30,000 BC: “If Ug not such a Neanderthal, Ug could travel into outer space.”
More recent commentary:
Surber (seriously): Is Ferraro right?
Gateway (irony mine): Clearly race has nothing to do with it.
Malkin (jubilant): Democratic Punch and Judy Show Continues
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 7:43 am on Wednesday, March 12, 2008
2 Responses to “Geraldine Through the Ages”
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March 12th, 2008 at 9:27 am
[…] UPDATE: Jules Crittenden has some fun with it. […]
March 12th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Surber called it: sour grapes.
Although I really like your bit about Moses and the frogs.