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Three More Months

Clinton vows to fight on for the voters, the party and the American way! It’s about the eye-gouging, stupid. TIME: 

How do you do pull this off? 

Well, first I think that it’s important to point out that the premise of the whole discussion that some people are engaged in is off base because this is a very close race and neither of us will reach the magic number of delegates …

Subtext: Well, first I think I will gouge his eyes out …

But what about the party?

Well, I obviously take that into account, but I just don’t see any evidence of it. You know, it is clear that there’s a lot of excitement and energy in this campaign …

Subtext: It’s my party and I’ll gouge his eyes out if I want to. 

You said earlier today “we’ll see what happens in the next three months.” By “the next three months,” do you mean April, May and June?

 Well, that certainly is what I anticipate. I think the elections that are yet to come deserve to be held because the people from Pennsylvania to Puerto Rico to all the others that are waiting in line deserve to be heard. And I think that’s part of the good. You know, I remind a lot of people that my husband didn’t formally wrap up the nomination until June and when he did he was behind both President Bush and Ross Perot.

Subtext: Yes, if that’s how long it takes to gouge his eyes out. You moron. By the way, you’ll recall it took that long for my husband to gouge everyone else’s eyes out.

With the superdelegates and all that, is this all going to be about electability?

Well, I think who will be the best President is another element, but there’s a lot to be excited about here. I think that there is unprecedented excitement in the Democratic party.

Subtext: Have you ever seen a man’s eyes gouged out?  

Is Obama’s spiritual advisor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, a bigot?

Well, that’s really up to the press and the public to determine, but I was asked specifically today what I would do if I had been in a similar situation and …

Subtext: See, you hook a finger behind the orb of the eye and pluck. They pop out like grapes. It helps when they’re all wide-eyed and idealistic like that …. That’s the neat and clean way, anyway. You wanna hear about the messy way? 

For some reason, I’m getting a very queasy feeling and my eyes are itchy and watery. That’s odd. So anyway, you and your husband are notorious poll whores. What makes you so much better a candidate than Obama in the general?

 Well, I think I have a lot of support that Democrats have to have in November. I’ve done obviously very well with women, who are a majority of the electorate, and the real core of the Democratic Party electoral victories. I’ve done very well with Hispanics. I’ve done very well with, you know, a lot of hard-working people who get up every day and know they need a President to try to straighten out the economy and get our country back on the right track.

Subtext: Our polling indicates America is not yet ready for its first president with his eyes gouged out. 

You play better among white blue-collar Democratic bigots, too, right?

Well, I think, you know, voters come in all sizes and shapes and every other characteristic and we usually put together coalitions of voters, but I want to be the President for everyone.

Subtext: Everyone has his own reason for enjoying a good eye-gouging. 
(ultra sub-subtext: Black man with a turban in the White House!!! Hangs out with crazy bigoted loudmouths in dashikis!!!)

One last question, senator. Do you really want to win dirty, with the superdelegates and all that?

You know it’s the same thing for Senator Obama. Neither of us will reach the number of delegates needed. So I think that that is, you know, the reality for both of our campaigns. And all delegates have to assess who they think will be the strongest nominee against McCain and who they believe would do the best job in bringing along the down-ballot races and who they think would be the best President.

Subtext: It’s about the eye-gouging, stupid.

Topics: Clintons

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:28 am on Wednesday, March 26, 2008

7 Responses to “Three More Months”

1. Don Surber » Blog Archive » McCain gains Says:
   March 26th, 2008 at 11:13 am

   […] Jules Crittenden says Three More Months! Hey, we cannot help it if Hill keeps seeing her shadow every 6 […]

2. tanstaafl Says:
   March 26th, 2008 at 11:55 am

   Can’t you just boil down all the words in Halperin’s (Time) interview to Hillary saying…

   :They’ll have to pry this nomination from my cold, dead hands.

3. RebeccaH Says:
   March 26th, 2008 at 1:55 pm

   For some reason, I’m getting a very queasy feeling and my eyes are itchy and watery.

   No kidding.

4. Bosnia Sniper story has legs | The Anchoress Says:
   March 26th, 2008 at 6:33 pm

   […] o/t - but only slightly, because it’s still about Hillary - Jules Crittenden has a must read about what to expect for the next three months. Gruesome! Neocon News » Hillary and her […]

5. Vodkapundit » Spot the Loony Says:
   April 16th, 2008 at 11:55 am

   […] on Hillary. It’s not just that I think she’ll hold her liquor better. It’s an eye-gouging […]

6. The_Real_JeffS Says:
   May 5th, 2008 at 5:03 pm

   I’m surprised she’s focusing on his eyes, and not some other delicate part of the male anatomy.

7. Jules Crittenden » Quitters Never Win Says:
   May 10th, 2008 at 3:16 pm

   […] guys are telling her to? Good question. It’s heartfelt, spot-on. Doesn’t get into the eye-gouging,* […]

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