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Halp Us Steefn Kinge Were Stuck In A Horrer Shoe

Scary dogs, crazy sadistic writers and Langoliers loosed on NewsBuster Noel Sheppard after Stephen King goes all Shining about the criticism of his own version of “Stuck in Iraq” … remarks which frankly skirt dangerously close to plagiarizing John Kerry. 

The remarks, via NewsBusters:

I don’t want to sound like an ad, a public service ad on TV, but the fact is if you can read, you can walk into a job later on. If you don’t, then you’ve got, the Army, Iraq, I don’t know, something like that. It’s, it’s not as bright. So, that’s my little commercial for that.

King reax:

That a right-wing-blog would impugn my patriotism because I said children should learn to read, and could get better jobs by doing so, is beneath contempt. Noel Sheppard says, “Nice sentiment when the nation is at war, Stephen.” I guess he feels ignorance and illiteracy are OK when the country needs cannon-fodder. I guess he also feels that the war in Iraq has nationwide approval. Well, it doesn’t have mine. It is a waste of national resources. . . and that includes the youth and blood of the 4,000 American troops who have lost their lives there and for the tens of thousands who have been wounded. I live in a national guard town, and I support our troops, but I don’t support either the war or educational policies that limit the options of young men and women to any one career—military or otherwise. If you agree, find Sheppard on the internet, and send him an email:

“Hi, Noel—Stephen King says to shut up and I agree.”

I dunno, if he cares about literacy maybe King should forget the Kerry ripoffs and Internet feuds and go on the road with Laura Bush. You know, the little woman with the silly cause.

By the way, this year’s National Press Mocktographers Club Award goes to the grunts who come up with the best Stephen King “Halp Us” shot. 

Prior winner:

Junior Achievement Award:

Special Mention, Climate Change:

 

Advocacy Mocktography:

Runner Up:

International:

Kute KittyKat-egory:

Topics: literary, moronocy

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 1:32 pm on Tuesday, May 6, 2008

7 Responses to “Halp Us Steefn Kinge Were Stuck In A Horrer Shoe”

1. Peregrine John Says:
   May 6th, 2008 at 2:07 pm

   Way to go, Steverinio! Nice dodging of the actual complaint. No one said illiteracy was good at any time. What loads of people have said is that the notion of the military being the last career recourse of the dullard is wrong, insulting, and generations out of date. I’m not certain it’s actually unpatriotic, but it is definitely pathetic.

   Enough with the smug, pious asshattery already.

2. MikeH Says:
   May 6th, 2008 at 2:53 pm

   You know, when the military was accepting high school dropouts with no waivers they had an education program that required the men to learn to read or become proficient enough to understand the elements of their jobs. Many went on to college so Mr. Kings statement is way out of line.

   BTW the telling symbol of Mr King’s contempt for the troops is ‘cannon-fodder,’ the troops don’t consider themselves to be ‘cannon-fodder’ and it shows Mr. King’s disconnect with those he ’supports.’

3. RebeccaH Says:
   May 6th, 2008 at 3:31 pm

   Anyone who has read King’s books know that this is not a man with a healthy perspective on the world. As it turns out, he’s ignorant as well.

4. Larry Says:
   May 6th, 2008 at 3:47 pm

   Question was asked (and I was not allowed to hanswer) bout the email being some of Kings best writing.

   I couldn’t say. I don’t read Stephen King.

5. Pundit Review » Blog Archive » Around the web, a tour of my RSS feeds Says:
   May 7th, 2008 at 10:33 am

   [...] trasher Stephen King isn’t happy with the “right wing blogs”. The feeling is [...]

6. Fatty Bolger Says:
   May 7th, 2008 at 1:51 pm

   Frankly, I’m disappointed in him for saying that, and then defending it. He can believe whatever he wants about the Iraq war. That he would make such an ignorant statement about the men and women who join the military, though, and then continue to defend it, is just sad.

   Maybe he should read this:
   http://usmilitary.about.com/od/joiningthemilitary/a/enlstandards.htm

   He might learn that the US Military has higher requirements than most employers do.

7. Michael Lonie Says:
   May 8th, 2008 at 12:42 am

   This is one of those cases where Mr. King is entitled to his own opinion (about Iraq) but not to his own facts (about the high educational level of US troops). What an ignorant twit. And to think that such wholesale ignorance is representative of the people who, so the antiwar crowd tells us, have superior knowledge and vision than the rest of us. What humbug.

   I can give one example from personal experience. A friend went to Iraq with a National Guard battalion, carrying out convoy escort and infantry duties for a year there. When he came back he returned to what he had been doing before the callup came: graduate study in Mathematics. Go on Mr. King, try to tell me that it’s ignorant illiterates who are in the service, just try.

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