Going Analog
A fellow tabloidist once mused about the zen of our wretched ink-stained art: “It is all nothingness, and yet it fills space.” Â
That was a different time, long, long ago, when the world was a very different place. About 1996, I think. Cyberspace for most people then was as it has been classically described, the place where you are when you are on the phone. Two real people in two different real places, occupying a common nether zone where neither of them actually are, which doesn’t actually exist. Someone described it that way during the cyberpunk sci-fi era in the 1980s. I forget who. For most people, cyberspatial existence then was tethered to kitchen walls and desktops. Maybe it was where you were when you watched TV, too.
It has advanced far beyond that, with rewards and perils greatly enhanced. The latter ranging from the physical dangers of talking on the cell phone behind the wheel, to the mental aggravation of bitter exchanges with strangers, to the psychological and economic dangers of global humiliation, all examples of how the disconnect between here/now and wherever/whenever can amplify nothingness into somethingness, and threaten your serenity and well-being.Â
The rewards include phenomenal connectedness. This thing we do now is vastly different from anything that ever happened in that archaic form of cyberspace. This one is an endless, many-roomed palace you can wander through, a multi-layered trashdump to pick at. It does create the impression of being at large in the world. I’ve spotted readers on the sitemeter coming in from Algeria and Mongolia. I have my suspicions about what those readers in Ghana, Nigeria and Russia are up to. There are Indians, Paks, Bengalis. Poles and Finns. Some guy in Vanuatu and another in Fiji. Germans, Italians, Brits, Dutchmen and Canadians. Spaniards and Portuguese. Chileans and Argentinians. The occasional Bulgarian. China, Japan, Singapore. My old city of Bangkok. A lot of Kiwis and Australians. Americans all over the place, all hours of the day. Millions of people you previously never had any likelihood of encountering occupy this non-existent space, and there’s the added benefit/drawback/hazard of the fact that you don’t actually have to meet any of them.
It is all nothingness, and yet it fills cyberspace. That makes it compound nothingness. Nothingness to the nothingth degree. That doesn’t mean it isn’t about something. It is an incredible experience, even on a relatively small blog, to be annoying, entertaining or informing people at such distances, in such critical times as these. And to be annoyed, entertained and informed by them. There are the relationships with people I haven’t met but consider friends, and the impressive work of nothingness that they do. There are others I’ve encountered as adversaries or dismissed as morons. It is a magnificent, transcendent nothingness, this blogosphere. A cold, sterile place that amplifies emotions, a digital zone that facilitates astonishing creativity. A vortex of nothingness resembling a great somethingness, with tendrils of actual somethingitude entwined in the nothingocity that spirals far into some other dimensional ether, every now and then touching down and laying waste to some bonafide something or other on the ground.
It’s a heady place, for nowhere. Who would have thought nothing could be this much fun? You don’t even have to be a newspaperman to enjoy it any more.
Anyway, with the amount of time I spend at work staring at a tube, the time I spend doing this here, watching TV or driving down the highway on the cell phone, sometimes it feels like the real world has become the virtual world’s shadow. I don’t doubt that it has subtle and not so subtle effects on the psyche and maybe the bio-chemistry, but others can wonk that out. I don’t worry about that so much. Us talky monkeys are very adaptable, good at living in the world as it presents itself.
I’m cranking it down for the summer. I live in a very nice part of the world, and intend to be out in it. There is an ocean nearby and mountains not too far away. I have a dog to walk, three kids to play with, a shed to shingle and 9 doors to paint. There are other projects I have been unable to tackle due to the inexorable draw of this nothingness, and there are other places I need my mind to be than in this echo chamber.Â
It may be a difficult thing to do, and circumstances may arise that drag me back. Disaster, evil, righteousness, tragedy, triumph, absurdity. Real occurrences that draw me back into the cybernothingness. Maybe just my own human weakness. I might also want to report back from the other side. But for the moment the plan is to radically alter the digital/analog balance of my life.
Thank you very much for reading and commenting.
Topics: everything, nothing
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 12:31 am on Thursday, June 5, 2008
35 Responses to “Going Analog”
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June 5th, 2008 at 1:34 am
What? Quit before the eye-gouging is over?
June 5th, 2008 at 1:37 am
I once tried to explain how very much alive Aristotle seems to me, as though millenia were simply a variant of geographic separation. That doesn’t even seem eccentric any more. It’s the same nowhere, it’s just bigger now, with more people talking. Oddly enough — it’s the digital nowhere that makes it possible to live in the analog nowhere I’ve chosen without regrets. Many thanks for your part in that. It’s all real, it’s always there when you need it, when you leave it — and when you come back. How cool is that? Have a great summer!
June 5th, 2008 at 4:11 am
Enjoy the summer. I am not sure we are getting one over here.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:51 am
Completely understandable, but we’ll miss your thoughts. I’ll keep clicking the link to see when you pop back in.
Nothing could be this much fun!
June 5th, 2008 at 6:21 am
Taking a Break
Jules Crittenden, a city editor and columnist for the Boston Herald, has a long post today on his forward movement blog explaining why he plans to dial back - strongly - on his online commitments. It’s a pity - I
June 5th, 2008 at 9:30 am
[...] just posted my weekly column in the Daily Mail. Enjoy. Jules Crittenden: “Going Analog.” Chris Stirewalt: “McCain must pick own fight if he wants to win presidency.” [...]
June 5th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Good-bye, Jules. Don’t stay away too long.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Goodbye, Jules. It was great while it lasted, and I’ll miss reading your articles every day.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:23 am
[...] Posted by Rebecca H on June 5, 2008 This is a sad day indeed. [...]
June 5th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Web Reconnaissance for 06/05/2008
A short recon of what’s out there that might draw your attention, updated throughout the day…so check back often.
June 5th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
There’s nothing wrong with the real world, Jules. Have a great summer!!!
June 5th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
I’m just cranking it down for the summer. I live in a very nice part of the world, and intend to be out in it. There is an ocean nearby and mountains not too far away. I have a dog to walk, three kids to play with, a shed to shingle and 9 doors to paint. There are other projects I have been unable to tackle due to the inexorable draw of this nothingness, and there are other places I need my mind to be than in this echo chamber.
You damn sure have Aussie blood…Shed’s and Blokes. Wonderful book, a friend from OZ sent me. I won’t say good bye…I will say heartily enjoy everything you mentioned above.
June 5th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Have a great summer, and enjoy the time with your family.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
My wife always tells me I’m good at doing nothing as I perfect the art of relaxing.
Enjoy the summer.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Good for you, Jules, enjoy the summer. That beach, those mountains, life lived with considerably more abundance the less blogward you remain. Especially as prolific as you’ve been.
Come back after the break, you’ll be missed in the meantime.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
[...] ANALOG: Jules Crittenden is taking a break this summer. Good [...]
June 5th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Have a great time off Jules….I can call you Jules can’t I?
This poster will miss your blog greatly, it will make the summer far more dreary.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
I think what you’re doing is a good idea, and you’ll be a better man for it at summer’s end. We thank you and so will your hemorrhoids .
June 5th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Have a good one.
Be sure and say some thing that Reynolds will point to so I can put you back in the rotation.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Have a great summer Jules. Give me a shout if you want to come up to Maine. Be there from late June to early August.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
OK. The eye-gouging is over. See you in September.
June 6th, 2008 at 6:51 am
A pith shortage of considerable magnitude.
Real life- sometimes it can happen. And ought to.
June 6th, 2008 at 8:15 am
BAH!
Stupid Infidel! You will be back when you are ready. You and your cowardly chimpanzee President, who is so fiendishly clever he poses a constant danger to the continued existence of your so-called American Republic, yet so stupidly incompetent that one wonders how he managed to beat two vastly smarter opponents in a national election….
Heh. That cold blooded killer Dick Cheney knows the answer to this troubling paradox, but he fills anyone else who manages to solve the riddle full of buckshot. Hopefully soon your benighted nation will have a new Hopeful Leader and Amerikkka will not be untimely bereft of the invaluable cultural and political commentary of luminaries like Susan Sarandon.
In the meantime, MAY THE FLEAS OF A THOUSAND DYSPEPTIC CAMELS INFEST YOUR BOXER BRIEFS!
June 6th, 2008 at 10:20 am
There are the relationships with people I haven’t met but consider friends, and the impressive work of nothingness that they do.
And so it is.
(with notable exceptions such as the execrable Mookie)
June 6th, 2008 at 11:16 am
enjoy your summer, your recaptured time, and your family. will look regularly in case you are dragged back before september (humming the tune “sealed with a kiss”)
June 6th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Glad to hear it, Jules. Get out there and have fun!
I loved this essay. Thanks for all the beautiful writing, great perspective, and positive attitude. Your words make a difference.
We’ll be delighted when you return!
June 6th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
DUDE! Slacker!!! Dock trash beach BUM!!!!!
You realize I was forced by the PC police to say that, since I have always stood for hard work and CONSERVATIVE values and would hate to be seen as a flip flopper (as opposed to Bingley, who is a well-known, internationally recognized floppy flipper).
Kick back, yo.
June 6th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
…the execrable Mookie…
Foreign Devil! May the Thousand Djinni set up residence in your favorite sock drawer.
June 6th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Stand to Patriots!
This means we will have to fight the enemies of liberty one man short for an entire summer!
Seriously, have a good time JC. I guess I will amble over to Paco Enterprises and see what he’s selling…
June 6th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Thanks Jules - have a great summer! First thing to do is to relax and “size it up”. That should take a few weeks.
June 7th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Yeah right. Like this is gonna work.
I bet, he’s already moved to sit at his ‘puter and post something up at least 5 times since he submitted this here.
“Dang! Said I was quitting for awhile! I can’t post something this soon or they’ll all laugh at me!!”
At least he didn’t wait until its so hot outside it’s just ugly to do anything but stay inside and mess with the computer.
Have a good summer Jules, but we know you’re jonesing already.
June 7th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I’m laughing my head off, Grimmy, you are so, so right. And what do you know, today is the first day of a heat wave here in Boston, so we’ll see his air-conditioned ass back here by…what would you say, Monday? He’ll cop to what you said, riff on the comments, get the undigested news items off his chest, and head back to the beach on Thursday, after the thunderstorms have cleared the air… both kinds…
Missred, I’m so amused that you mentioned that tune, because the same one came to me when I sat down to write my first comment. Show of hands, how many of you came up with “See you in September” ?
Okay, I’m only on the computer myself because I’m looking for directions to the lake. I’m going outside now, really. Happy summer, everybody!
June 8th, 2008 at 9:36 am
D’oh! They’re two different songs.
> Never mind!
June 8th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Happy summer and safe travels to you, sarah.
Jules:
Don’t sweat it man. I mean that literally (as in, you’ve probably forgotten how hot and nasty it is to be hot and nasty, so get out of the sun. You’re not a mad dog, nor an Englishman, you don’t belong out there) and figuratively. We’ll not ride you for coming back early. Honest.
Not much, anyway… or at least, not for a long time.
So, quit being a big baby and start us a new thread already. You know you want to.
June 15th, 2008 at 5:56 am
Critt goes on “vacation” and we, immediately, start getting hit by disasters.
Koinky-dink? I think not!
DHS should look into this.