Rural Michigan-bound Hipster douchebags train in hyperbaric sarcasm chamber at Obama training center
It’s Hill!
OK, maybe not yet.
Today was supposed to be the big day. Obama texts his veep announcement. Going into the DNC, there would be the first of several days of headlines, wonder, analysis. But for the last three hours, like thousands of news professionals, I’ve been sitting around waiting for the guy to … make dukie or get off the pot. Text the damned veep choice already.
For the three hours before that, a number of fellow tabloid professionals and I had been wondering why he was wasting this chance at a big publicity bump on a Friday afternoon in August anyway, when as you may be aware, the vast majority of potentially impressionable or even moderately intrigued possible voters would not be paying attention.
It’s pretty clear now that isn’t going to happen, unless there is some clever strategy to entirely bypass the first editions of most newspapers and pop it on late night TV that no one is watching.
As speculation continued during the day, there was the thing about Chet “Who?” Edwards, a Texas congressman that I think I can state with some confidence no one has ever heard of, a fact that somewhat undercuts the other fact that he is supposed to have foreign policy experience. The leak reeked a little of trial balloon, but a bit late in the game, and frankly smelled more of red herring. Why, at this particular moment in American presidential politics, would they want to pick a southerner named Edwards no one has heard of, who might be confused with a southerner named Edwards that everyone just heard quite a bit of? The latter one being the other half of last time’s losing team, incidentally, which has to be wicked bad presidential feng shui.
It was also widely reported today that Hillary was never vetted, never asked for a single financial document. This was taken as evidence that Hillary is off the table, or was never on it.
And that’s what made me think, what must be really going on is, after all the vetting and head-scratching and scrambling about for a winning combo, the Obamists have figured out that only with Hillary do they stand a chance, and then, at best, a slim one. That not being vetted thing, that’s a good one. How dumb do they think reporters are? (No unkind remarks about my people, please). After two decades of assorted investigations, two Senate campaigns and a presidential campaign, they need to look at paper?
It is a toxic choice. Never mind being upstaged by Hill herself. There’s her loudmouthed, know-it-all husband, who would have to be bricked up somewhere through November, if not through the next four years. They don’t want to do it, but I guarantee you, they’ve gone through all the stages of denial from dismissing it out of hand, to trying to avoid the subject, to jokingly entertaining the prospect, to dithering, shouting and throwing things before retreating into sullen silences. If in fact they’ve finally come around to grudging acceptance, then someone has hit on the brilliant idea of drawing it out even longer to build excitement … or maybe to see if there might be some kind of last-minute miracle of biblical proportions that will deliver unto them a running mate who neither upstages the candidate nor downgrades the campaign.
But I’m calling it as Obama-Clinton. Lots of big smiles and waves and hugs and kisses, unity, all that. A media phenom that will be gushed over endlessly, met as a sign of political brilliance and electoral inevitability. It might even be those things, though it’s hard to see how that ticket gets past Obama’s other shortcomings and weaknesses, or Hill’s for that matter, and does anything but add to the column of those who think Obama isn’t quite ready to lead America, those who think America isn’t quite ready to be led by another Clinton.
But it’s either that, or they have to name some guy called Biden or Bayh or (Chet) Edwards, which will be a little anticlimactic tomorrow after all the coyness and the stringing out. Which will, in fact, suck all the hope and change and excitement and wind out of the campaign. A running mate who looks like a crutch Obama needs to lug around and prop himself up with. Maybe more like an embarrassingly obvious set of elevator shoes. And they’ll lose that way instead.
More important campaign news from Iowahawk, whose uncritical fawning over the Obama camp’s latest stratagem shows he could teach the salaried press a thing or two about shameless pandering to media darlings:
Obama Pix Hipster Prix to Reclick with Stix Hix
Denver - With new polls showing Barack Obama’s once-commanding lead over John McCain all but evaporated, the Obama campaign announced today it has begun deploying its vast volunteer army of downtown hipster douchebags to help reconnect the presumptive Democratic candidate with middle-American voters.
(Personal to Ben in comments: It’s not so bad. Just think of it as a trainwreck. Really horrible but can’t-take-your-eyes-off-it fascinating, with stuff flying all over the place. Kind of like the primary, and you remember how much fun that was. Even if they did win, they’d be so busy undercutting each other and lining up factions, they wouldn’t be able to accomplish a thing.)
Topics: pols
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:05 pm on Friday, August 22, 2008
4 Responses to “It’s Hill!”
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August 22nd, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Please God, no. Even if Clinton & Co mean the Dems are throwing the ship overboard and clinging to the anchor, four more months of combined Obama and Clinton narcissism are more than I can stand.
August 22nd, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Would any sane person want to be the only thing standing in the way of the HillBilly getting back to the White House. Remember Vince Foster! Remember Ron Brown!
August 22nd, 2008 at 11:43 pm
Well, maybe, but as a friend of mine who has looked at this closely asks, “What reason does she have to accept?”
August 24th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
OK, so its Biden… this could be even more fun!
Jules, do you think this is a Rovian Plot?