End of the World …

… nigh. The irony is, if it happens, it won’t be the American cowboys or ex-Soviet thugs, or Iranian mullahs or al Qaeda or the Chi-coms, or even Dr. Evil who blows us all to smithereens. It’ll be a bunch of pointy-headed Eurowienies in lab coats on the Swiss-French border who are looking for the “God particle” and trying crack the secrets of the Big Bang.  

I already don’t like the sound of it. They may be pushing the non-Creation version of events but when they put it that way, it all sounds a little too Tower of Babelish. The Stephen Hawkings of the world say no worries but there’s this theory that their proton-smashing will create mini-black holes that will swallow the Earth. The only good news in that case is, they’ll start with France. When the Alps fall in the hole where the Cote d’Azur used to be, you’ll know we have a problem. Anyway, the French have dispensed with any possible concerns. AFP:

Before the startup, Internet-driven rumours said the LHC would create black holes or a nasty hypothetical particle called a strangelet that would gobble up the planet.

CERN has commissioned a panel to verify its calculations that such risks are, by any reasonable thinking, impossible. France too has carried out its own safety probe.

Dr. Evil's logo looks somewhat familiar.

Looks like something Dr. Evil would come up with, doesn’t it? … Sorry, my mistake, that is something Dr. Evil came up with. Here you go:

The magnet core of the world's largest superconducting solenoid magnet (CMS, Compact Muon Solenoid) at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN)'s Large Hadron Collider (LHC) particle accelerator. (AP / Keystone, Martial Trezzini) The LHC (large hadron collider) is seen in its tunnel at CERN (European particle physics laboratory) near Geneva, Switzerland. A cyclist passes by the wooden 'Globe' at the entrance of the European Organization for Nuclear Research, CERN, near Geneva, Switzerland, Tuesday, Sept. 9, 2008. Scientists will fire up the biggest physics experiment in history at CERN Sept. 10, 2008 when they hope to detect evidence of extra dimensions, invisible 'dark matter' and an elusive particle called the Higgs boson.(AP Photo/Anja Niedringhaus)

Seen here with a Eurocyclist Tour de France wannabe passing nonchalantly, apparently intended to set us all at ease. Meanwhile Australians, leaving nothing to chance, are staging End of the World parties. I might crack a beer when I get home now that I think of it.

Sky News offers up some bright-colored zappy scientific-looking art, unclear what it actually has to do with the supercollider but it looks good, and a simplistic explanation for idiots like us … or me, anyway. Also, the disappointing news that France is not likely to be swallowed by a big black hole or a bunch of small ones. Though the bit oabout small black holes being formed but rapidly evaporating sounds like exactly the sort of thing that could go horribly wrong.

Topics: France, beer, impending doom!

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 11:29 pm on Tuesday, September 9, 2008

8 Responses to “End of the World …”

  1. materialist Says:

    Speaking as one who knows a little bit about this subject, I wouldn’t be too worried about it if I were you. The folks putting out this “we’re going to destroy the world” canard have a very exaggerated opinion of our humble abilities. Sort of like “Man-made Global Warming”ists …

  2. Jules Crittenden Says:

    Don’t spoil my fun … the End of the World at least gives me hope.

  3. Sean Bannion Says:

    Welcome to my underground lair….

  4. Fatty Bolger Says:

    I’m sure everything will be fine. Probably.

  5. RebeccaH Says:

    So. The world didn’t end after all. At least not today.

  6. J.M. Heinrichs Says:

    … Daylight Saving Time, Rebecca.

    Cheers

  7. Fatty Bolger Says:

    Apparently this was just a test, and they didn’t even slam any particles into each other. The end of the world may be as much as a year away, when they finally get the thing running at full power.

  8. Jules Crittenden Says:

    Eurowienies can’t even end the world right.

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