Post-Apocalyptic Britney, Tragic Rasta Lapdogs, Hello Kitty Bling Bling

Spears’ new single,...

Sky’s falling, Israel’s about to nuke Iran, Palin’s getting dumped and Obama’s already won by a landslide, depending on who you listen to and when. Screw it, I’m Britneyblogging. Boston Herald: New release “Womanizer” shows she’s still the vapid throwaway popmeistress America exalted far beyond her worth. It’s just a little more pathetic post-crazy mama rehab.  

Sigh. You’d hope for some kind of revelation or breakthrough from Britney, but the lead single off the troubled mom’s forthcoming album, “Circus” - set to be released on Dec. 2, her 27th birthday - is more of the same ol’ Brit. The monotone verse, repetitive chorus and industrial, synth-heavy track (which sounds like a cross between Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” and Stray Cats’ “Stray Cat Strut”) eventually grow on you, and “Womanizer” reveals itself as a catchy example of what Britney does best: croon about mystery people over expensive beats, while revealing nothing about who she really is. OK, it does make sense to keep doing what’s worked in the past. But the switch from public mess to reborn pop vixen is getting tougher to buy.

Brutal. Unasked, unanswered is whether anyone really wants to know who Britney is, though now that I think of it, could be trainwreck fascinating.

OK, now some dogblogging. Try to stop me. Cute Pekinese lapdogs were a mass of matted foot-and-a-half-long dreadlocks and couldn’t walk when they were rescued. Unfortunately the “before” picture that ran in today’s paper hasn’t been posted online. You just get the cute one. Stay tuned, I’m working on it.

LAP OF LUXURY: Cookie rests easy.

Bark from the Brink:

Two loveable lapdogs so horribly mistreated they became entombed in their own Rapunzel-like fur have discovered late in life the simple joys of a belly rub and a catnap in the sun.

“It’s kind of woken me up to what’s possible. I did not have a lot of hope for these dogs,” said state police Lt. Alan Borgal, director of animal welfare and protection at Boston’s Animal Rescue League.

Borgal rescued the Pekingese pups - thought to be about 10 years old - in June from a farm in Ashby. After three months of intensive medical care, physical therapy and grooming, Murphy has been adopted by a family in South Boston.

Cookie, partially blind and terminally ill with heart disease, is the official welcome wagger at Sterling Impression Animal Rehabilitation Center of New England in Walpole. That’s where both pekes miraculously learned how to walk again through massage, swimming and gymnastics.

“This was probably one of the most awful conditions I’ve seen a dog in. Pure neglect. They had to be in so much pain,” said Dr. April Paul, head of emergency and critical care at Tufts Veterinary Emergency Treatment and Specialties in Walpole.

Paul said what was originally thought to be one peke’s front legs were actually foot-and-a-half-long dreadlocks growing from its ears.

“They couldn’t walk because their legs were matted to their bodies,” she said. “I couldn’t even tell they were dogs.”

Cookie, she said, “loves to be with people. That’s what made this even worse. All she wanted was to be held.”

Nothing grabs readers’ eyeballs like a good dog story, it’s tabloid gospel, but somehow I don’t think that’s going to work here.

Moving on, UK Guardian’s tech geezer Jack Schofeld:

Jack Schofield

I say, deuced Hello Kitty bling bling laptop hugga mugga, wot?

One of the features of the new new Tech blog design is that you can see a list of the Most Viewed posts, if you click the tab on the right. And at the moment, the Most Viewed is the one called Hello Kitty notebook PC gets bling from Swarovski crystals, which I posted on Thursday June 7, 2007.

What I don’t know is why.

Is it the reference to Damien Hirst in the intro? Is it Google’s top hit for some obscure sexual perversion? Or has everybody just discovered a passion for Hello Kitty, or Swarovski crystals, or both?

Wake up and smell the Hello Kitty, Jack. Here’s the HK Bling-Bling:

nec_hello_kitty_lavie_2x.jpg

Here’s his original post, by the way, in case you share my sporadic fascination with odd Japanese cultural/political phenoms:

There’s never been any doubt what the world really needs, and it’s finally here: a pink Hello Kitty notebook PC (Sanrio approved) complete with Swarovski crystals. According to an AP story at HappyNews.com, the lucky manufacturer is NEC, and La Vie G Hello Kitty is available online only for 199,500 yen ($1,650) in Japan.

The key part of the spec is obviously that it has 299 Swarovski crystals, rather than the Windows Vista Home Premium operating system, 1GB of memory, 100GB hard drive, or unnamed processor (a Mobile Sempron 3400+).

Go to NEC Direct to order yours now.

Welcome Riehlists, Ace, etal. Don’t be strangers, come on in.

Topics: Hello Kitty, deep thot, dogs, song

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 8:49 pm on Monday, September 29, 2008

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