Gloves Off!

We hope. Ding! Out of their corners:  

(G’day Blairites, RCP, Gateway, etal. That snooze of a debate’s history, but news never sleeps. Here’s some follow-on:

The Princess and the Palin

Snoozer’s Jolt

The Fat Lady Gargles

It’s Obama! … Or Not!

OK, liveblog follows for those who slept through that thing.)

Brokaw channeling the Latest Generation. Gallup’s scientifically selected Town Hall crowd and 6 million emailers.

Everyone’s agreed to be polite. No cheering allowed. Do what you like at home. Gentlemen? (Wild cheering ensues, allowed under strict cheering rules)

Brokaw: Howbout that economy?

Allen Schaffer: Seeing as no one knows what the heck to do, what the heck do you do?

Obama: Worst crisis since Great Depression! Don’t be afraid of fear. Please, let me monger some. George Bush …  But in answer to your question about the little guy, lets flog corporate execs! Oh yeah, little guys … we need policies. Good answer?

McCain: Thank you Allen, good question. I have a plan. Energy independence. Keep Our dough here in the USA. Keep your dough in your pocket. Cut govt spending. Reform package. Oh yeah, home values … Secretary of the Treasury will be renegotiating your crappy mortgage. How’s that for a chicken in your pot? 

Brokaw: Who will that be, your SecTreas?

McCain: Not you. I’m thinking somebody trustworthy, identifiable, maybe even a little Paliny. Meg Whitman.

Obama: I dunno … somebody, I guess … McCain’s the problem. Hey, I’ve got just the tax cut for you … cute little runabout. Here, kick the tires.

Oliver Clark: What Allen said … OK, not exactly … more like, what’s the deal with that bailout, anyway?

McCain: It’s Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac’s fault. Obama is their pal. The bailout bails some out, need more, pour some of that on the forest fire.

Obama: Companies need $$$ to operate. McCain is a dope, not surprisingly. If only they had listened to me. Fannie and Freddie, no friends of mine. Hey, keeping people in their homes sounds like a good idea. Only not what McCain said though. We have to do big financial stuff, but most importantly, we have to put chickens in every pot.

 MCain: I wish you could see a letter I wrote … never mind … Americans are great.

Teresa Finch: A pox on both your houses!

Obama: George Bush … John McCain … George Bush … health care … Yellow Peril … oil sheikhs … Washington lobbyists!

McCain: Reform with me … Obama offers more blah blah blah … Obama hearts big spending. Pork. Vast amounts of ridiculous pork. I heart middle-income Americans and their jobs. Drilling and nukes are good, too. 

Brokaw: Priorities?

McCain: Let’s do it all! All of the above. Bi-partisanly. Reagan-Tip. Aisle reach across. Energy $$$ to terrorists, no!

Obama: One thing at a time. Or not all at once. Russia, Iran, no! Lets’ go to the moon just like JFK did, only with health care and education. By the way, I’ll be getting all over that line item thing. George Bush … John McCain … big corporations.

Brokaw: OK, we’ve got an old geezer on the Internet. Wants sacrifice.

McCain: I’m good with that. Slash and burn. Good, bad, everything must go! Open season. Except guns and maybe a little butter. Ix-nay on the ‘marks-ear-ay.

Obama: Let me tell you a story about something I call 9-11. Some of you may remember. George (John McCain) Bush said go shopping! Hey, I like drilling, too! Nukes … insulating your home is hard work. Young people want to serve! Peacenik volunteer opportunities, because that’s what some poor bastard up to his eyeballs in spent .50 cal shells in Ghazni wants!  Leadership … spending cuts … as long as we don’t stop spending money in critical chicken-pot programs.

McCain: Obama proposals Jello-like, not easily nailed to wall.  Sounds taxing.  Obama has a secret plan to raise taxes on small businesses = less jobs at lower wages. I’ll give you your money back.  

Obama: I know this is a debate, with rules, but I want to talk back.

Brokaw: Shut up, I’m talking. Me and some guy on the Internet from Boston (not me) who wants to know about social security.

Obama: McCain will screw up social security and Medicare! Look, I know you told me to cork it, however, blah blah blah my tax program.  It’s my debate and I’ll debate what I want to.

McCain: Fine, I’ll answer the question then. Social security, no biggie. Me, Reagan, Tip … like that. Obama, never been there, never done that. Oh yeah, keep the pols, lobbyists as far away as possible. But while we’re on the subject, let me tell you about Obama and taxes …

Section C: Sen. McCain. Greenness?

McCain: That George Bush, what a bum! I heart Gaia. And that’s why I heart nukes!

Obama: Not just a challenge, an opportunity! Chickens in every pot! I heart nukes, too, but not so much. I agree with Sen. McCain! Even though he did stuff I don’t agree with. I heart drilling, but not so much. Lets give energy to China!

Brokaw: ferchrissakes stop talking so much. Now, should we develop an energy A-bomb or an energy computer? Manhattan Project or Silicon Valley of energy?

McCain: Ix-nay on the ork-pay. Drill, drill, drill! Nuke, nuke, nuke!

Section E: Health care = $$$. WTF?

Obama: I’m glad you asked that. Blah blah blah. Drone, drone … facts, figures … McCain and Republicans … Me. My plan. Your government. It’ll be big. Moonshot.

McCain: Big challenge. Efficiency rocks! Ix-nay on the ocialism-say! Ax taxes! You choose … non-governmental health care in every pot.

Obama: My mom died of cancer. Poor woman had to argue with insurance companies in the last months of her life.

(Crit: Lessee, you didn’t do that for your mom, but you’ll do it for me? OK!)

Obama: Blah blah blah. McCain likes deregulation!

Guy with glasses: Peace leader?

McCain: Peace through strength. America = greatest force for good in the history of the world. All over the place. We are peacemakers. Keep your powder dry, wait ’til you see the whites of their eyes. Been there, done that. Obama wouldn’t know a surge if he tripped over it.

Obama: Sen. McCain said I don’t understand. It’s true. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to not fight the war we’re in. I want to start surrendering from the begining all over again. McCain is right, by the way, America is great. However, I think if we suck up more it would help. … Moral obligation to stop genocide! Unless it’s hard.

(Crit: Or unless it involves Iraqis?)

Obama: It’s good when we can do it from the air, like a video game. Also, if we can get our useless allies to do something for a change. Maybe if we beg.

McCain: Obama hearts surrender, defeat. Cool hand on the helm needs to know the deal. Been there, done that.

Katie Hamm: That invade Pakistan thing again …

Obama: George Bush! U.S. out of Iraq! Bush plan for Paks! Carrot, stick!

McCain: Teddy Roosevelt rocks. Walk softly, big stick. Obama, big talk, small stick. Invading Pak talk, big dumb talk. Petraeus rocks.

Obama:Invading Pakistan OK, only not exactly. McCain says I’m green behind the ears. McCain sang Bomb Iran; Nuke Korea; Next Up, Baghdad …Obama policy: Why do they hate us?

(Crit: Sounds like the wetness back there is getting moldy.)

McCain: It’s a combat vet thing, lighten up.

Obama: Kumbayah in Afghanistan.

McCain: Meet my Iraqi surge pal, Petraeus. 

Internet: Cold War?

McCain: Putin = KGB. Don’t worry, I can handle that punk. Ich bin ein Georgian.

Obama: I agree with Sen. McCain! I double agree with him. In fact, I multiple outagree him. More $$$ for foreigners, also, look around the corners, see what’s coming. We must be able to surrender well in advance of these situations. 

Brokaw: Evil Empire?

Obama: um… er … there’s evil-like behavior.

McCain: Drill, drill, drill! Ivans, no biggie. Bear should know Eagle will claw their eyes out.

Retired Navy chief: Heart Israel? Bomb Iran?

McCain: I heart Navy chiefs. UN can go stick its head in a bucket. Mullahs are a menace. But they better not poke those Shlomos too hard! We need a new gang. League of Tough but Fair Dudes, who don’t mind busting heads, taking names.

Obama: Mullahs are wicked bad. Military option’s on the table. Right over there, at that end of the table. It was getting in the way of our chat, had to shove it aside when they brought out the tea and cookies. But it’s right over there.

Peggy in Amherst NH: What don’t you know, and how will you learn it?

(Crit: Howbout that Internet.)

Obama: My wife thinks I’m an idiot. But, let me tell you, what I don’t know is how the American Dream works, and I intend to reinvent it.

McCain: What I don’t know is what this guy’s going to do the first time some mad mullah or crazy Ivan gets in his face. Been there, done that. I heart America. “Times are tough, and we need a steady hand on the tiller. the great honor of my life has been to always put my country first.”

Quick take: Bickerfest. Gloves off … for an exchange of mild dope slaps. McCain takes it on the last line, raised doubts all over the place, actually answered questions. I thought I told Obama last time to stop agreeing with McCain so much. Best soundbite: “I don’t understand. It’s true.”

But no one changed anyone’s mind tonight. Good thing the race is still a virtual dead heat, and McCain wins one of those.

Uh oh, trouble in Obamadise … polls show McCain closing.

OK, I’m out of here. Liveblog links and a little light, right reading: 

Cruel commenters at Blair’s meanspiritedly mock “A lot of you remember 9/11″ and “green behind the ears.” The instant punditry captures what may well be Obama’s two standout remarks of the debate. That and “Sen. McCain is right,” “I agree with Sen. McCain,” “Sen. McCain is right,” maybe another “I agree with Sen. McCain,”  I dunno, I lost track.

Debate vid via Toldjah in case you missed it, plus liveblogging.

Gateway: McGovern thinks Obama is too radical? Gateway liveblogging.

The Other McCain: Could I be wrong? TOMcC Backs off his McCain defeat prediction on sober consideration of left’s exultant determination that racism-tarring = victory strategy. The Other McCain liveblogs.

Capt. Peter Hesgeth, Vets for Freedom, at Pajamas: Some pointed questions for tonight …

via Reynolds: Watch for ringers, mind you don’t step in any pandering

Tim Blair: If only she’d been a community organizer …

Don Surber: Who’s tripping down the streets of SF? Everyone knows it’s Cindy!

Powerline: Internet akhbar! Thank God you don’t have to rely on the MSM to tell you the news.

Ace: Debate thread ponders, “How strenuously will McCain avoid discussing Democratic responsibility for the subprime crisis, and thus consign himself to ignoble defeat?”

Jawa: “Acorn who?” raided.

Bolt: How does Palin rock? Let us count the ways.  

Iowahawk advice column: All-star cast of experts stands in for Dear Barry during the debate.

Hyscience: Fisher-Price’s fun new line of talking Jihadist baby dolls? vid.

Sun’s over the yardarm: Vodkapundit’s drunkblogging here.

Malkin: SNL has second thots about its Pelosi mockery, does a do-over. Malkin liveblogs herself to sleep.

American Digest: Fact-checking is fun …

Hotair’s debate liveblog and chat here.

Tigerhawk’s Alhambra liveblogging here. Kenya muckraking safari developments here.

Topics: pols

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 8:12 pm on Tuesday, October 7, 2008

3 Responses to “Gloves Off!”

  1. | The Sundries Shack Says:

    [...] Toldjah Ann Althouse Ace of Spades The NRO Crew at The Corner Hot Air Jules Crittenden Cassy Fiano Jim [...]

  2. Fatty Bolger Says:

    I missed the debate, but I checked out some of the recaps. Apparently Obama is now running as a moderate Republican. Or, he’s lying his ass off. I’m guessing the latter.

  3. The elusive SNL “Bailout” video « The Right Daily Says:

    [...] Jules Crittenden » Gloves Off! [...]

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