« Call In GayPanhandler Accepted »

Not To Be Outdone

The Boston Herald chimes in with its own commute-related compassionfest. It’s Margery Egan, Riding on the Gropemobile: 

We hardly waited five minutes at Park Street Station yesterday when the announcement came over the loud speaker. “High Capacity Train” is pulling in!

And there it was, in all its glory, the Red Line T train with no seats.

It’s the MBTA’s latest attempt to deal with rush-hour overcrowding. The idea: Stuff everybody in, standing up, cheek to jowl, cheek to cheek, thigh to thigh, etc., and watch what happens.

Wise-crackers have christened Big Red . . . . “The Gropemobile.”

E-mailers have offered me Big Red theme songs.

Diana Ross’ “Touch Me in the Morning” is my favorite.

The reaction yesterday?

Mixed.

“We’re already stuffed in like sardines,” said daily rider Kathy Ouellette, 48, of Quincy. “So let’s stand even closer together. It’ll inspire even more groping.”

Kathy Leone, 59, of Rockland has bad knees and would just “like to get a seat.”

No way, said Alisha Smith, 35, of Boston. Having endured phantom presses over the years (Is it that crowded, or is something else afoot?), Smith never boards a crowded train, seats or no seats.

“What about fat people? What if they lose their balance and crush people?” asked Heather, last name withheld. “It could be like Wal-Mart!”

But yesterday’s maiden voyage proved uneventful. MBTA General Manager Dan Grabauskas says Big Red is needed because of booming ridership.

Figures, says Todd Sciola, “his name is GRABauskas.”

Then there are those who are actually looking forward to Big Red riding for . . . frodage. That is, in the urban dictionary, “physical contact with a stranger while passing in a crowd, as in, ‘I scored some wicked frodage on the chick with the nose ring.’ ”

Previously:

Someone please tell the Malkinistas not everyone in the Boston media approves of public nuisances.

Topics: Boston, media, pervs

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 11:47 am Comments (1) on Tuesday, December 9, 2008

One Response to “Not To Be Outdone”

1. The_Real_JeffS Says:
   December 9th, 2008 at 10:50 pm

   Just so long as they don’t put signs on the cars that read “40 hommes et 8 chevaux”, I suppose this will work.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.