Aging Ugly
That’s Lauren Beckham Falcone’s take on Jennifer Anniston baring most, if not all, but at the same time way too much, while looking hot about it. Boston Herald. And yes, you pervs, there’s GQ’s crazy Jenn in the almost-all-together with a bunch of guys art:
Ever since Brad Pitt jettisoned the former “Friend” for fertility goddess Angelina Jolie, Aniston just can’t keep her clothes on.
Aniston’s latest striptease is next month’s GQ cover, where the almost 40-year-old wears nothin’ but a necktie, shielding naughty bits with her wrists and a well-positioned knee.
Inside, she frolics footloose and frock-free with two men and sits spread-eagle in men’s skivvies, an open shirt and nothing else. She’s supposed to be promoting the family-friendly “Marley & Me” but, for some reason, can’t stop talking about what she calls the “insane Bermuda Triangle” that is Jen, Jolie and Pitt.
Cue the awkward:
“The funny thing is that people don’t realize we all go away to the Hamptons on the weekends,” she jokes to GQ. “Can you imagine? That’d be hysterical: I’ve got Zahara on my hip and Knox …”
Oh, honey. Build a bridge.
Yes, Aniston’s hysterical - and not in a ha-ha way. Think Glenn “I-won’t-be-ignored-Dan” Close in “Fatal Attraction.”
She could give lessons in loony. Aniston sues magazines and Web sites for publishing topless shots of her but shows skin on the cover of Rolling Stone and in “The Breakup” and “The Good Girl,” to name a few naked truths.
In fact, this isn’t the first time Aniston’s graced the cover of GQ sans attire. She was shirtless in 2005, when she was anointed Woman of the Year.
And she gets annoyed when people ask about her personal life - most recently griping at a USA Today reporter - but can’t stop yapping about Brangelina and how “uncool” it all was and how extraordinary her musician boyfriend John Mayer is. All while demonstrating that her boobs are perkier than ever.
There is a raging hypocrisy about that fine, somewhat disturbing display of crazy flesh, now that Lauren mentions it. Along the lines of actors and actresses who want everyone to pay attention to them and adore them, and then can’t hack it when everyone starts paying attention to them. It’s enough to drive you crazy. “Look at me now … not now. Now. Not now! Respect my privacy! Boundaries, please. OK, here’s my innermost crazy obsessive dirty laundry.” Anyway, also along the lines of what Lauren is talking about, Jenn’s apparently experiencing what everyone does sooner or later. She’s staring down the barrel of middle age, trying to figure out what she has to show for it, not coming up with much. Her America’s sweetheart status slipping away, she needs to stay in the game, ex-boyfriend’s new squeeze is hotter and more talented, gets better roles, etc. It isn’t a very picture. And I don’t mean the creepy CG spread. OK, I do.
What’s with that crazy bunny pose, anyway? I’m with Lauren. Run! The big knife’s coming out!
Unrelated, different in nude opportunism: Stop the ACLU on Playboy’s fun with the Virgin Mary.
Full disclosure: by posting Jenn’s mid-life crisis skin, I can probably count on a regular stream of clicks in from Google images for years to come. Thanks, Jenn! I hope this has been edifying, Google image pervs!
Topics: Hollywood, nude, pervs, sex, shameless opportunism, shameless self-promotion
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 8:59 am on Saturday, December 13, 2008
2 Responses to “Aging Ugly”
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December 13th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Bah. What’s the point in going to all the trouble of taking your kit off and showing up for the photography session, and then strategically covering up all the fun bits? I think it’s OK to have nudes that aren’t trashy if that’s what you want to do.
Maybe I’m just desensitized since my grandmother is an artist and has painted and sketched plenty of tasteful nudes. I happen to like photography, so I don’t see why you can’t do the same thing with that medium.
December 13th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Pretty much get some decent hits out of it. I posted the Jennifer thing the other day, and getting a couple hundred out of it :)
Her face looks kinda strange in the cover shot, though. Wasn’t quite sure if it was her. Nice ta ta’s, though!