Wrongful Hurtfulness
Iowahawk, cruel bastard, mocks the poor semi-literate document-challenged Americans who toil earnestly to provide ease and comfort for the American icon also known as Caroline Kennedy. And you know what, I’m going to tell that cornshucking pig-feeder he should be ashamed of himself, once I stop laughing my ass off at his low-blow hayseed humor, Senora Kennedy Is Make Very Good Senator. Especially this part:
Senora Kennedy have very many busy jobs. She is edit the book for the children and the poetry. She also choose the winners for the many awards she is boss for. It is make her very tired, but every day Senora is go to work for the volunteer to raise the money for the awards and the charity. She have many parties at the home and the museum. She work very hard to shop for the new gowns and invitacions. She is also make the seating arrange and hide the tequila from Tio Teddy so he not get borracho. This she do for the poor.
Yeah, very funny. Ha … ha … ha. Also this. Making fun of recycling:
Senora Kennedy she is always know the issues. Every morning she always tell me, “Rosa, where is my New York Time paper?” Then she read it before she go to Fifth Avenue for the shopping. When she get back she tell me to put it in the recycle because to save the planet.
A lot of it is even worse than that but you’ll have to go read it yourself. Come on, people. Let’s not let Iowahawk get away with mocking Esmeralda or whatever her name is and Caroline Kennedy, because, you know … the Kennedys …
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 1:51 am Comments (3) on Tuesday, December 30, 2008
3 Responses to “Wrongful Hurtfulness”
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December 30th, 2008 at 2:08 am
Why not just create a few feudal fiefs for the Kennedys? Make Massachusetts a duchy or something. That way the ones who aren’t fit to hold an elected office will have something to do.
December 30th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Such a great idea, Dave of Surls, that of course they have already thought of it. There’s even room for wannabe Kennedys at the top in the Duchy of Massachusetts, where the pretender John Forbes Kerry has been kept around as a coatholder and foil for several decades now. Ironically, though my Lord Ted’s idiot son Patches was granted the Barony of Little Rhody, and territory was briefly held in far Maryland by the Lady Kathleen, problems similar to those now bedeviling the Dauphine in the Principality of New York also beset Sir Maxwell, son of the sainted Lord Robert, when he was compelled by arcane laws to seek the symbolic approval of the peasantry. His meandering blather oddly was seen as a disqualifying factor and he stood down. His elder brother, Sir Joe Kennedy II, though he did represent the family holdings in the House of Commons for a decade, declined to ascend to the governorship of the Massachusetts colony in 2002, due in no small part to a series of unfortunate events. Details of the dismissal of the mother of his children through the exercise of “Catholic gobbledygook,” (an avenue that had been closed even to Henry VIII of England, no doubt to the Church’s lasting regret) and the amorous affairs of his late brother Sir Michael with a fair maiden not his wife (and with the blush of youth fully present on her cheeks, raising the distasteful prospect of a legal nuisance that was abruptly terminated by Michael’s fatal encounter with a tree during a high-spirited 60 mph game of “football” upon the slopes in distant Colorado) were seen as unavoidable annoyances and even potential obstacles in the course of seeking an otherwise sure coronation. Sadly, this once great dynasty, plagued by Shakespearean tragedy, long ago stepped away from the warrior pursuits that had exalted them in the eyes of the people and descended into disastrous wastrelism … not that that should normally have been a hindrance, as evidenced by my Lord Ted’s ascendance to the status of Liberal Lion in the House of Lords, holding firmly the title bestowed upon him by his late brother despite an unfortunate business upon, and off, a bridge that might have felled any lesser mortal in the field of public battle. The crusading spirit of the family’s fallen knights once so greatly admired by the nation and the world has long since given way to pandering to the rabble. While this has proven an effective strategy for the patriarch of the clan, the wiser of the Kennedys have of late largely confined themselves to the nunnery of incidental good works and scholarship … to include some end-time do-as-we say-not-as-we-do preaching … but the temptation to dabble in affairs of state still sometimes proves irresistible.
December 30th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Gah! Kennedys, go away already!