About That Torture Thing
There’s a lot of fretting over whether Obama will do the right thing about Guantanamo, and whether the CIA will barred from using harsh interrogation methods in the GWOT.* Greenwald’s having a snit. Now a Guantanamo judge comes forward, says she barred a trial for one terror suspect because his unkind treatment was torture.
By that definition, the United States military has been torturing its own soldiers for decades, but never mind that. Anyone foolish enough to sign their life away and commit war crimes for the military-industrial complex or whatever they call it these days probably has it coming. We probably shouldn’t even talk about the war crimes committed in frat houses across America.
Quite apart, it turns out large numbers of former guests of the United States have returned to the battlefield. It’s a sticky issue for the incoming Obama admin. Some cynics might observe that’s exactly what Nazi POWs would have done, if they had been returned to the bosoms of their families in 1944. But others might suggest this assortment of cab drivers, halal butchers, businessmen and foreign exchange students, all abducted while minding their own business in Afghanistan, were radicalized by the cruelty they experienced at the hands of the hated Crusaders. Which also means, due to our historic national failure to understand why they hate us, we have it coming.
While Obama on the campaign trail had promised to end all global misunderstandings, in a troubling new development, Archfiend/Our Dark Lord Cheney suggests Obama is starting to get it:
Cheney added that “there is no question” President-elect Obama had begun to get a sense for the difference between campaign rhetoric way the world actually works since beginning to receive the same intelligence briefings he and President Bush receive daily.
…
“The fact is the world has changed in major ways since January of ‘01 when we took over,” Cheney said. “And that break in service of some eight years I think they will find has been a period of time when the threat to the nation has changed in fairly dramatic ways.”
It’s a dilemma that suggests, in a post-Bush world, a new way forward needs to be found. I have a simple solution.
Don’t allow anything to be done to terrorism suspects that anti-war activists didn’t do, or attempt to do, to to the president of the United States and other U.S. imperialist warmongers.
I’m not trying to be cute here. I’d never suggest that just because the MoveOn crowd wanted to waterboard the president, vice-president and secretary of defense, that waterboarding should be resumed. Obama can keep it on the table if he wants, but we all know it’s water over the dam(ned terrorist), so to speak. Playing loud music, failing to turn off the light switch, and private time without clothes all are now defined as torture. It’s clear we need to look at more practical methods of encouraging the cooperation of recalcitrants that are incontrovertibly moral.
Throwing heavy objects at people, for example. It would normally considered a criminal act, and certainly was not authorized treatment of U.S. detainees at any time during the last troubled eight years. But in the wake of the Muntader al-Shoedi Brogan-chucking incident, throwing things has been embraced by the Arab world and the American Left as a legitimate form of speech. Consequently, it would seem there is no reasonable barrier to talking to people in this manner as part of a responsible, humane effort to encourage them to see the errors of their ways.
Throwing stuff at prisoners, check.
There was understandable uproar when abu Ghraib detainees were menaced with dogs. No dogs. However, the old bats of Code Pink demonstrated that there are other legitimate ways of horrifying one’s adversaries. I’d suggest a number of them be enlisted to lift their shirts at Guantanamo. You can let them think they are expressing their disdain for the hated Crusader Gulag, whatever.
Menacing prisoners with old bags, check.
Playing loud rock music and Barney to disorient prisoners is bad. I’d suggest instead they be treated to the educational films of Michael Moore and Al Gore, and the subtle but entertaining “Stuart Smalley” skits of Al Franken. Air America reruns might be good. Maybe some Democracy Now! tapes. These should be repeated often enough that there can be no doubt the jihadis know that some people care why they hate us, and also that it’s everybody’s responsibility to help save the planet, even if you live in a kennel. The Cindy Sheehan news archive might be good to mix it up. Sufficient exposure to alternative views may do a lot to encourage new thinking in the detainees.
Politically correct multi-media presentations, check.
It would be cruel, however, to subject detainees to the kind of treatment to which American troops in combat were subjected by the United States Congress, and I would not support the applicatio of these methods to Guantanamo. Imagine the demoralizing effects of prison guards shouting, “We support you! We support you!” while withholding vital supplies and randomly accusing the inmates of imaginary infractions of prison rules. No one should be treated like that.
Saying one thing, doing another, check.
Toilet-flushing of Korans by the hated Crusaders at Guantanamo was not only wrong, it was made up. However, it points to what could be an effective methods. The Bush administration’s opponents flushed entire volumes of recent history down the toilet, and made up facts wholesale regarding Saddam Hussein and what was known about him, and what took place before, during and after the 9/11 attacks. This suggests it is appropriate to accuse detainees of things that they had nothing to do with, or that never happened, or with gross distortions of fact, which should have the effect of disorienting and disheartening them in a humane and highly moral way.
Flushing facts, making stuff up, check.
These are very difficult issues, but in light of the rejection of the hated Crusader regime in November, it is important that we find a way forward that reflects the principles that prevailed on Election Day, and restore American credibility in the world. These suggestions in some small way might begin to do that.
* “GWOT” is clearly out as a term for anti-jihad operations. While Obama has apparently recognized that there are in fact wars that need to be fought, it is unclear whether he has recongized the relationship between various theaters of this war, or that he even understands who and what the enemy is. “Anti-Jihad operations” actually would be pretty good. All encompassing, almost sounds like a policing effort, and would allow Obama and his Dem Cong pals to avoid acknowledgement of any awkward states of war. However, the term is hurtful to Jihadi-Americans and international jihadis everywhere, whose sense of effrontery is what Obama had earlier indicated he wants to assuage as one of his primary avenues of attack. That’s why I think a more suitable phrase might be, the Global Understanding of People for Peaceful Yearning. GUPPY. Sounds manueverable, like it could dart deftly among the bubbling shipswrecks of the global aquarium. Or maybe, Peace & Understanding Frees First! That’d be PUFF! Sounds startling! Could confuse our adversaries. Maybe, World Order Restoration Management … WORM. It suggests a new, earthy way of doing things. Invertebrate, capable of regenerating after being cut into bits, thriving in manure. Take that, al-Qaeda! Whatever, just something that doesn’t sound angry and Terminator-like the way GWOT did, alienating people everywhere who were offended by the hated Crusaders persecution of third-world understanding movements, and squandering the warm fuzziness they briefly felt for the United States while smoke was rising over lower Manhattan.
Topics: Bush, GWOT, Guantanamo, Obama
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:11 am on Wednesday, January 14, 2009
8 Responses to “About That Torture Thing”
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January 14th, 2009 at 10:18 am
[...] Crittenden on the uses of torture. [...]
January 14th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Well said. May I also suggest, that since urinating on Korans is bad/made up, perhaps burning them would be more appropriate. You know, in solidarity with the Palestinian, jihadi, and lefty (but I repeat myself) practices of burning US and Israeli flags and effigies.
January 14th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
[...] Washington Monthly, PoliGazette, Balloon Juice, Pat Dollard, Hullabaloo, Newshoggers.com, Gawker, Jules Crittenden, Brave New Films blog, TalkLeft, Obsidian Wings, No More Mister Nice Blog, Philly.com, Associated [...]
January 14th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
[...] Jules Crittenden: About that torture thing. [...]
January 14th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
[...] Jules Crittenden: I’m not trying to be cute here. I’d never suggest that just because the MoveOn crowd wanted [...]
January 14th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
[...] Jules Crittenden: I’m not trying to be cute here. I’d never suggest that just because the MoveOn crowd wanted [...]
January 14th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I’m amazed! We actually want to lose this war.
For some reason we’ve gotten the idea that our enemy (if I may call him that, who knows, it might be degrading) is on a par with us in the civilized arena. Cutting off heads is actually normal conduct in the course of war and they’ll stop it after we alert them to the fact that it might be painful.
Where are we getting these total idiots? Do we need to burn down every institution of higher education to get rid of these insane filters that they’re instilling in their students? These students actually think that they see the world in all of its pristine glory and they want to lead us to a grand future! Who cares about those little bumps in the road called the enemy! These people are reading about this war without comprehending a thing that they read.
I’m appalled at the low intellectual level of leadership that we’ve elected. There was no one incident that could be called torture but we didn’t treat the killer right so it’s torture anyway?
Some people are still alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. They’re pornographic, in that they have no redeeming social value. /rant
November 4th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
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