Dearest A’Jad
So Dreamy!
Obama’s writing a love letter to Ahmadinejad. Well, his staff is. But they keep ripping it up and rewriting it. Because that’s the way young love is. Innocent, tentative, uncertain. (UK Guardian):
(Obama administration officials have drafted a letter to Iran from the president aimed at unfreezing US-Iranian relations and opening the way for face-to-face talks, the Guardian has learned.
The US state department has been working on drafts of the letter since Obama was elected on 4 November. It would be in reply to a lengthy letter of congratulations sent by the Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, on 6 November.
Diplomats say Obama’s letter would be a symbolic gesture to mark a change in tone from the hostile one adopted by the Bush administration, which portrayed Iran as part of an “axis of evil”.
It would be intended to allay the suspicions of Iran’s leaders and pave the way for Obama to engage them directly, a break with past policy.
State department officials have written at least three drafts of the letter, which gives assurances that Washington does not want to overthrow the Islamic regime but merely seeks a change in its behaviour. The letter would be addressed to the Iranian people and sent directly to Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, or released as an open letter.)
That’s because when you want to go to the prom with a guy, you don’t ask him. You get his friends to have him ask you.
Dear A’Jad,
I have long admired you from afar, and wondered …
Um, too formal. And way too creepy. Sounds like stalking. Crumple crumple crumple
Hey A’Jad,
I think you’re cute, with that impish smile, always kidding around and saying funny things that make me laugh so hard, like “Erase the Zionist entity off the map,” ha ha ha …
Impish? I can’t believe I just wrote impish. ”Ha ha ha.” That’s so immature! Crumple crumple crumple
My Dearest A’Jad,
They say our love is wrong …
Stop me before I write the L word again! Gaaaaa … what am I doing! Crumple crumple crumple
(The US state department has been working on drafts of the letter since Obama was elected on 4 November last year. It is in reply to a lengthy letter of congratulations sent by the Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, on 6 November.)
Dear, dear, dear A’Jad,
I can’t tell you what a thrill how special it was to get your note. Some of the other girls laughed, but it meant so much to me … I can’t tell you how much it meant to me … how it touched me. I’ve kept it with me. I’ve read it again and again, until I almost have the words memorized …
Is that too much, Hill? I know it sounds a little over the top.
(Diplomats said Obama’s letter would be a symbolic gesture to mark a change in tone from the hostile one adopted by the Bush administration, which portrayed Iran as part of an “axis of evil”. It would be intended to allay the suspicions of Iran’s leaders and pave the way for Obama to engage them directly, a break with past policy.)
My A’Jad,
I know that a lot of people said really bad things about you when you took the American embassy staff hostage and blew up the Marine barracks in Lebanon and pushed Leon Klinghoffer off the cruiseship and started funneling arms into Iraq, but I know you didn’t mean any of those things and just did that because you were hurt …
I think that looks good. It’s more mature, don’t you think, Hillary?
They don’t understand you but I do. I’m sorry for how mean they were to you. I thought it was wrong, and I said so, sort of, but when you’re running for student council and you’re popular like me you can’t always say everything you want to, because the other kids will look at you funny, so I had to take some of it back. Anyway, please don’t hold it against me. I wish there was a way I could make it all up to you. I’d do anything to …
You think I should hold back a little for the next letter, huh? This is really really hard. Crumple crumple crumple
(One draft proposal suggests that Iran should compare its relatively low standard of living with that of some of its more prosperous neighbours, and contemplate the benefits of losing its pariah status in the west. Although the tone is conciliatory, it also calls on Iran to end what the US calls state sponsorship of terrorism.)
I never laughed because your suits fit funny and you wear cheap Wal-Mart sneakers. I know some people aren’t as fortunate as others, even when they are sitting on vast oil reserves, and it really isn’t fair. I don’t know why you can’t sit with us at the cool table in the lunchroom. People can be such snobs sometimes! Ha ha ha! They’re so conceited. And sooooooooo immature. But I wonder if maybe you want to meet me after class …
(The letter is being considered by the new secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, as part of a sweeping review of US policy on Iran. A decision on sending it is not expected until the review is complete.)
Be honest, Hill. There’s no way to do this without sounding like a lovesick schoolgirl, is there? Crumple crumple crumple
Hot Air with more on the nerd slate for student council
Gateway: Brian told Dave that all the other presidents were evil.
Powerline: Obama is flunking history.
G’day Powerline etal. Always good to see you. Ready for your Swedish history lesson? Of course there’s a hot chick. And moral cowardice!
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:12 pm on Wednesday, January 28, 2009
10 Responses to “Dearest A’Jad”
Leave a Reply
Trackback URLYou must be logged in to post a comment.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Does anybody else think of The Joker when they look at Ahmanutjob’s perpetual grin. Honestly, I think he’s had it stitched on his face.
January 29th, 2009 at 1:53 am
Mahmooooood Aj’d. is the ugliest crossbred cross-eyed savage, a spiteful bearded demoniac lunatic. He will be relplaced by another less demented come next election. At least anyone will be an improvement.
In Middle East, you never appologize, humility suggests weakness, therefore the mullahs in Iran will have no respect for a leader who is feeble.
This lapse of judgement, has encouraged the Islamic fundamentalist government of Iran to go ahead & produce the promised nuclear bomb.
January 29th, 2009 at 7:35 am
[...] Do we learn nothing from the lessons of history? Capitulation to dictators and thugs leads to war, tragedy, and mass death. With Iran probably only a year away from a nuclear weapon, it is forceful diplomacy backed up with the threat of force that will change things, not love letters. [...]
January 29th, 2009 at 7:38 am
Jules, you impress me with your ability to keep your sense of humor. Laugh to keep from crying, as they say.
The Guardian is pretty funny, too. I like “portrayed.” Yes, it’s all just a matter of how you see things, isn’t it. All Obama has to do is create his own lovely portrait of Iran and all will be well.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:55 am
What about an apology for detaining A’Jad’s agents in Iraq. We could also offer to reimburse him for all of the ammunition and explosives that were lost or blown up in Iraq. I am amazed that Bary O. has not been briefed on Iran’s activities in Iraq. maybe he is just not listening because he made a promise to the Soros gang.
January 29th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Gawd, that made me laugh. But you know what? The idea of an American president pandering to this little toad makes me kind of ill.
January 29th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
“Ahmadinejad said yesterday that he was waiting patiently to see what the Obama administration would come up with. “We will listen to the statements closely, we will carefully study their actions, and, if there are real changes, we will welcome it,” he said.
Ahmadinejad, who confirmed that he would stand for election again in June, said it was unclear whether the Obama administration was intent on just a shift in tactics or was seeking fundamental change. He called on Washington to apologise for its actions against Iran over the past 60 years, including US support for a 1953 coup that ousted the democratically elected government, and the US shooting down of an Iranian passenger plane in 1988.”
So even a crazy dictator knows you don’t meet with the opposition without preconditions.
January 29th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Waste of series of Pathetic messages, based upon ignorance or grasp of history of Middle East.
While impatiently waiting for American President letter of submission, Mahmood’s aide Javanfekr said Iran has no intention of stopping its nuclear activities, “WE ARE PAST THAT STAGE.”
When America’s President says we have made mistakes; this is sign of great weakness in Middle East, thus brings great shame upon his Country and countrymen, and Iran will gleefully print and celebrate America’s humility, just as it was 30 years ago during Carter era.
January 29th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
[...] Dearest A’Jad [...]
May 15th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
[...] posting on this Dearest A’Jad ‘Please take a letter to the Ayatollah’ It begins: Obama drafting letter to new pen [...]