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How It Ends

It’s whimper, not bang for us, according to the wackadoo Russky whose apocalyptic vision of America’s future has made him the toast of the Kremlin. Maybe more of a squeal, with some whinging, some ouchy noises, and qjuite a bit of bowing and scraping, according to that map. For those interested in Igor Panarin’s ideas of the collapse of the United States in 2010, here’s how it works. WSJ:  

MOSCOW — For a decade, Russian academic Igor Panarin has been predicting the U.S. will fall apart in 2010. For most of that time, he admits, few took his argument — that an economic and moral collapse will trigger a civil war and the eventual breakup of the U.S. — very seriously. Now he’s found an eager audience: Russian state media.

Igor Panarin

In recent weeks, he’s been interviewed as much as twice a day about his predictions. “It’s a record,” says Prof. Panarin. “But I think the attention is going to grow even stronger.”

Prof. Panarin, 50 years old, is not a fringe figure. A former KGB analyst, he is dean of the Russian Foreign Ministry’s academy for future diplomats. He is invited to Kremlin receptions, lectures students, publishes books, and appears in the media as an expert on U.S.-Russia relations.

But it’s his bleak forecast for the U.S. that is music to the ears of the Kremlin, which in recent years has blamed Washington for everything from instability in the Middle East to the global financial crisis. Mr. Panarin’s views also fit neatly with the Kremlin’s narrative that Russia is returning to its rightful place on the world stage after the weakness of the 1990s, when many feared that the country would go economically and politically bankrupt and break into separate territories.

A polite and cheerful man with a buzz cut, Mr. Panarin insists he does not dislike Americans. But he warns that the outlook for them is dire.

“There’s a 55-45% chance right now that disintegration will occur,” he says. “One could rejoice in that process,” he adds, poker-faced. “But if we’re talking reasonably, it’s not the best scenario — for Russia.” Though Russia would become more powerful on the global stage, he says, its economy would suffer because it currently depends heavily on the dollar and on trade with the U.S.

Mr. Panarin posits, in brief, that mass immigration, economic decline, and moral degradation will trigger a civil war next fall and the collapse of the dollar. Around the end of June 2010, or early July, he says, the U.S. will break into six pieces — with Alaska reverting to Russian control.

Yeah, well, Russian history is full of visionary nutjobs. And collapses. And loss of territory, economic decline, moral degradation. Not a lot of immigration, that’s usually in the other direction. But you can see how Panarin might get stuck on the apocalyptica, and be inclined to project.

Mr. Panarin’s apocalyptic vision “reflects a very pronounced degree of anti-Americanism in Russia today,” says Vladimir Pozner, a prominent TV journalist in Russia. “It’s much stronger than it was in the Soviet Union.”

Mr. Pozner and other Russian commentators and experts on the U.S. dismiss Mr. Panarin’s predictions. “Crazy ideas are not usually discussed by serious people,” says Sergei Rogov, director of the government-run Institute for U.S. and Canadian Studies, who thinks Mr. Panarin’s theories don’t hold water.

I dunno. Apparently Putin likes having him around. I bet Panarin wouldn’t have to look too far to find people who would believe it around here, either.

More on Panarin at the link. About that map, it doesn’t take much imagination to see large swathes of Greater Atlantica falling under EU influence, and Hawaii going to Japan … those are pretty short trips. I hope no Texans see that part about the Texas Republic falling under Mexican sway, though. Could be trouble. The Indecisive Minnesota Territories, definitely Canadian. The Incontinent States of Western Granolia I see as being non-aligned … with reality.

My only complaint, those Russky map names suck. Howzabout … Mexas. Eurochusetts. Minnesontario. Califoung-zhou. Alaskavlosk.

Of course, there’s another factor not cited by that WSJ article, written in December 2008, in the last weeks of the Bush era, prior to the ascension. And if Obama continues at the same pace as he has for the last 40-odd days, maybe we’ll be marveling over the genius and foresight of Igor Panarin this time next year.  

In other recent US-Russky affairs, Plausible Hilarity.

With a nod to that great Canadian cavalry officer, Capt. Heinrichs.

Topics: America, Russia, impending doom!, moronocy

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:24 pm Comments (4) on Wednesday, March 4, 2009

4 Responses to “How It Ends”

1. hosco6 Says:
   March 5th, 2009 at 8:11 am

   This guy Igor is apparently not aware that Massachusetts and Minnesota have been part of Russia for years…

2. GHS159 Says:
   March 5th, 2009 at 9:02 am

   Texas as part of Mexico? Ha!

3. TheBigHenry Says:
   March 5th, 2009 at 10:52 am

   Ignore Panarin

4. Lifeofthemind Says:
   March 5th, 2009 at 11:35 am

   Μολὼν λάβε
   Molon labe
   Come and take them!

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