Hate To Keep Rubbing It In

It’s not like I’m feeling nostalgic. But how can we stop laughing at him if he won’t go away? It’s John Kerry again. The Boston Herald’s Howie Carr catches the action as Kerry calls the plays: 

Forget his Sarah Palin “botched joke,” to coin a phrase. The night before he cracked wise about wishing that she, rather than Gov. Mark Sanford, had disappeared, the junior senator was down in D.C. in the Red Sox broadcast booth during their road game against the Washington Nationals.

Talk turned to Liveshot’s tossing out the first pitch of a Yankees game at Fenway during the Democratic convention in Boston in 2004. Perhaps you recall that limp-wristed toss?

But, Sen. Kerry informed the NESN audience, it was not his fault. Just like it wasn’t his fault that he fell down while he was skiing in Idaho - it was that Secret Service agent who messed him up.

All dialogue guaranteed verbatim: “My pitch was not spectacular. It was funny. We had this young kid who had just come back from Afghanistan, or Iraq? Iraq. And he’s a young military guy. He was truly quaking. I mean, I went up to him beforehand and I was worried, you know, that anything I threw . . . so I sort of threw this thing easy and it went plunk. That’s the worst thing in the world.“

No, Liveshot, the worst thing in the world is blaming somebody else - a fellow veteran, no less - for your pathetic toss into the dirt.

Hey, remember when he blamed military regs for his three scratches and a sayonara? It was that and his change of heart, first of many, about the cause he had signed up for, that led him to ditch a combat command and his band of brothers four months in. Howie goes on to cruelly mock Kerry’s sports illiteracy. Must suck when you’re trying to get elected. It’s painful … and as a fellow sports illiterate, I feel Kerry’s pain. Take it away, Howie.

You may think this is all irrelevant, backward-looking Kerry bashing, but if so, you don’t live in Massachusetts, where this bounder could soon be the senior senator … or the United States, where this bounder now is chairman of Senate Foreign Relations Committee. Talk about the big leagues. 

Here’s a serious examination of Kerry’s sports-related bounding from the archives at Slate, as long as we’re going down Memory Lane. It ran with this great, presidential-looking quarterback shot.

And we’ll go out with a Kerry balls-for-votes photo essay: 

 

In other outdoor pursuits:

Finally, something he looks good at, though the bounding photo op aspect still brought on the cruel mockery. Like I said, I feel your pain, John. Gotta suck when you have to keep pretend you’re something you’re not.

Here’s that first pitch, BTW:

Looks great! Looking around for the most famous Kerry pitch of all. Someone else’s medals! Can’t find it, but here he is throwing something else. All his other fellow Vietnam veterans under the bus! He may not be the most credible sports fan around, but as someone who will ditch you in a pinch, Kerry’s always been the go-to guy.

Topics: Boston

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 10:57 am on Friday, June 26, 2009

One Response to “Hate To Keep Rubbing It In”

  1. TheBigHenry Says:

    I hate to rub it in, but … in the pic where he is hiking the ball unflatteringly (on what appears to be an airstrip), it looks like the woman has heard a sound coming from his direction.

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