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Iranian Jokes

Roger Cohen at NYT, in “Iran’s Tragic Joke,” recounts the string of tragic one-liners that is the Iranian election, but bungles the punchline on the big one and misses another kneeslapper entirely: 

What president would celebrate a “victory” by two-thirds of the vote with a clampdown resembling a putsch? What self-respecting nation would attribute the appearance in the streets of three million protesters convinced their votes were stolen to Zionists, “evil” media and British agents?

…

What sort of country invites hundreds of journalists to witness an election only to throw them all out? What kind of revolutionary authority invokes “ethics” and “religious democracy” as it allows plain-clothes thugs to beat women?

What is to be thought of a supreme leader who calls an election result divine, then says there are some questions that need resolution by an oversight council, and then tells that council what the result of its recount is before it’s over?

Iran is not some banana republic.

OK, good start, but it kind of falls apart after that, as Cohen discusses the structure and principles of the Iran’s Islamic Republic and Islamic Revolution as if these are legitimate things, capable of moving forward. No, Iran is not a banana republic. It is far more dangerous than that. 

The campaign was of an exemplary openness. Supporters of Ahmadinejad and Mir Hussein Moussavi, the reformist candidate, took to the streets without incident. Moussavi, with his impeccable revolutionary credentials, was the very emblem of unthreatening change.

He’s right. It was of an exemplary openness for mullah-approved candidates, though even they saw their campaign offices attacked by regime thugs.

But a hardline faction around Khamenei, Ahmadinejad and the Revolutionary Guards felt threatened — in their power, wealth and world view.

They do not believe, as Rafsanjani believes, in a China option for Iran: the possibility of normalizing relations with the U.S. and preserving the system.

While Rafsanjani spoke, Ahmadinejad was speaking in Mashad. “As soon as the new government is formed, it will enter the global sphere with a power that is 10 times greater than that of the West and overthrow the West from its hegemonic position,” he said.

I heard the president say the same thing, again and again and again, over the course of a three-hour press conference two days after the election. He is suffering from a pathology. Rafsanjani is not alone in believing it is dangerous.

A succession struggle of sorts has begun in Iran. Rafsanjani, 74, is challenging Khamenei, 70. So is Mohammad Khatami, the reformist former president who called Sunday for a referendum on the legitimacy of the election. They are saying Iran is a great and proud nation: open the prisons, free the press, allow debate, do not make a laughing stock of our institutions. That, they insist, is the only form of loyalty to the Revolution.

Sure. Loyalty to the Revolution is the answer. Remember what a beacon of freedom, democracy and international goodwill the Islamic Republic of Iran was before Ahmadinejad?  

Never mind. Cruel wags might call it a joke that Cohen thinks the secret to freedom in Iran lies in adherence to the principles of the Islamic Revolution. But looking beyond Iran’s borders to the damage Iran has done in the world and the damage it might yet do, the biggest joke is that the president of the United States still thinks the mullahs’ regime can be a partner for peace. Cohen missed that one.

Topics: Iran

  Posted by Jules Crittenden at 9:41 am on Tuesday, July 21, 2009

One Response to “Iranian Jokes”

1. Soccerdad Says:
   July 21st, 2009 at 11:39 am

   My problem was with Cohen’s observation:
   What sort of country invites hundreds of journalists to witness an election only to throw them all out?

   It’s because of people like Roger Cohen that the regime thought it could get away with stealing the election and reap no criticism.

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