Social Distancing
Turns out there’s a major upside to the swine flu. It’s called “social distancing.” It’s being advocated by the Centers for Disease Control.* It even has its own website, socialdistancing.org.**
GlobalSecurity.org, one of my go-to places on matters of pressing national interest, is all over social distancing.
CNN is on top of the new social distancing trend.
I’ve already written about the dramatic cultural evolution underway in France, where the quaint, cringe-inducing practice of grown heterosexual men and everyone else kissing each other all the time is being discouraged. Sacré Flu!
But I had no idea it was an fully developed, cold, clinical concept, of the sort only cold, clinical Anglo-Saxon/Nordic/Teutonic-dominated western science could produce. I learned about this marvelous new public health expedient yesterday through a memo distributed by Human Resources at work. It also advised people to exercise responsible coughing and sneezing controls and advised against the sharing of utensils and food. I immediately used a neon-hued highlighter on those points, along with the “social distancing” one, and further called attention to them with some arrows executed in red marker. Then I put the helpfully marked up advisory on top of all the plastic forks, extra condiment packs, etc., in my upper right desk drawer at the corral-like Boston Herald City Desk, the drawer that everyone treats as a communal supply closet but never replenishes. Including the people who sometimes practice poor coughing and sneezing controls in the general vicinity of said drawer, and also assume it’s all for one and one for all in the snack department. I might mark up another flier and put it in the center drawer, the one everyone seems to think is the communal pencil and red marker supply drawer.
We live on top of each other at the City Desk, and in the newsroom in general. I don’t expect that to change. But with luck, I might achieve a little social distance. I’ve already successfully established myself as a miserable bastard, “Saddam,” always barking and advocating summary execution for the slightest offense. But there still are people who feel the need to keep me informed with a running commentary about the minutia of their professional and personal activities, call huddles on whether a particular sentence would benefit from the insertion of a comma, and seek sidebar conferences on the spelling of common English words. You know who you are. The CDC and Human Resources want you to put a lid on it. You’re spreading germs and you’re a menace to society.
I’m not too crazy about people who express interest in my dinner, and say things like, “Mmm, that smells good, what is that?” no matter how hygienic a distance they are maintaining, but that’s a separate issue.
I dunno about you, I didn’t even realize it, but I’ve been waiting for social distancing to become a formal cultural imperative for a long time. Even here in New England, where we generally avoid talking to each other or physical contact more than is absolutely necessary. And as the White House Chief of Staff says, you don’t want to let a crisis go to waste.
* As usual, there’s a downside to every upside, and CDC may be advocating social distancing a little too aggressively. Found this somewhat disturbing CDC Social Distancing Law Program that looked at the preparedness of local governments to enforce social distancing. As laudable as the general societal/public health concept is, I’m not sure I can get behind government enforcement. I have enough trouble keeping actual human beings out of my personal space, I don’t need the government in there, too.
** Socialdistancing.org offers some helpful, if overly technical information, but suffers in my view from a lack of helpful child-like social distancing “dos and donts” illustrations. Something that brings together some “South Park” and “Hello Kitty” graphic and thematic elements could have broad appeal and be easily understood on a pan-global, cross-cultural level, I think.
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Topics: medicine, science, shameless opportunism
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 11:18 am Comments (2) on Wednesday, September 23, 2009
2 Responses to “Social Distancing”
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September 23rd, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Social distancing is yet another radical leftwing communist plot to keep us from sharing antibodies. Is there no end to the perfidy? ;-)
September 24th, 2009 at 8:37 am
LOL Sacré Flu!