Homo Wimpy-ens
That’s what you’ve evolved into, if you’re a bloke, according to “Manthropology: The Science of the Inadequate Modern Male.”
Australian anthropologist Peter McAllister explains that ancients and primitives, from Roman legionnaires to 40,000-year-old aboriginals to Neanderthals, could outrun, out heft, out jump and generally kick your ass. Even a sheila Neanderthal could out-arm wrestle you. I have no doubt in my case. Reuters: “Modern Man a Wimp, Says Anthropologist.”
It’s a fun read full of fun facts and fact-like declarations. Then you can go to John Hawks’ superlative anthroblog … where I always go when I want to know what’s what with our species and its near relatives … and watch Hawks run circles around McAllister’s arguments and wrestle them to the ground. Though he allows that your average Roman legionnaire or Neanderthal could generally kick your ass.
Sadly, “Manthropology” seems to be only available in Australia. Not on Amazon. Never mind, that book is all about making you feel puny and worthless, and who needs need any help in that department? Must be one of those Southern Hemisphere water-goes-down-the-drain-the-wrong-way things. Yanks use self-help books to achieve less insignificance. Aussies need self-help books to get their massively inflated self-images in check.* Something like that.
Face it, you’ll never be as tough as a Roman legionnaire, an aboriginal circa 40,000 B.C. or a Neanderthal But if you want to get in touch with your inner primitive, I’d suggest you start with Crittenden’s Live Forever Or Die Trying series.
* As a first-generation Australian-American, a small but fiercely proud minority, I’d like to report that while thanks to superior breeding I may be a fine physical specimen, popular with the sheilas, look good in shorts, enjoy swimming with sharks, speak five languages badly and capable of drinking most mortals under the table, my personality is considerably more subdued than is the norm for Homo Fosters Australensis.
Topics: Australia, Neanderthals, ancient mysteries, anthronerdism, men
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 11:05 pm on Wednesday, October 21, 2009
One Response to “Homo Wimpy-ens”
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October 22nd, 2009 at 11:40 am
Ok, so I don’t miss everything about Australia. Just most things. I definitely don’t miss the giant seagulls.