Retro-Moonbattery
Moonbattery digs deep into the archives to the ”last time the Progressive Left had the level of political and cultural dominance it enjoys today … the early to mid-1970s.” That’s a debatable point, but the wackiness of the rebordered 38 United States isn’t.
Moonbattery’s Gregory of Yardale notes not only are C. Etzel Pearcy‘s boundaries designed to emphasize the urban centers, which would have the effect of benefiting you-know-who, but “States would also be renamed to eliminate the painful memory of those dead white guys who named them the first time around.” In most cases, yes, but not entirely. Oppressive slave name “Plymouth” subs out Indian name “Massachusetts.”* “Hudson” and “Cumberland” are dead white guys. “Carolina” is a Latinate, feminized version of dead white guy Charles I’s name. “Alamo,” ”San Gabriel” and “San Luis” come from the grandaddy of hated white invader languages, Spanish, ironically now in vogue as a linguistic marker of oppressed status, while the latter two names have the added awkwardness of non-PC religious origin. “Superior” comes from a dead white language. “Bonneville” is a Pontiac, “Talladego” is adapted from a NASCAR track, and “Dearborn” is Arabic. Ha ha, just kidding about those ones. But the guy who made this map is clearly pre-warmal, as he’s honoring at least five historic vehicles: El Dorado, Biscayne, Plymouth, Hudson and Bonneville, plus the two automotive locales, Talladego and Dearborn … three seeing as “Bonneville” is really more about the place than the Pontiac, and the place is all about fast cars. Dearborn and Bonneville, in fact, look a lot like overt nods to naked automotivism by the 1970s geography students that Pearcy polled in working up his new state names.
All that considered, I’d say renaming the United States after cars is an idea that perhaps should be revisited. They are pretty much the driving force, along with national defense, behind our most dominant geographical feature at present, the Dwight D. Eisenhower System of Interstate and Defense Highways. I wouldn’t mind living in the state of Ford Mustang, or maybe Dodge Challenger. Of course, given that this is Massachusetts, I’d probably end up living someplace lame like the “Commonwealth of Prius.” I’d settle for something historic like “Plymouth Valiant.” If they made all of New England one state they could call it “Slant Six.” Yeah, I know, enough with the hurtful jokes already, it would be a leftward slant.
But a bold vehicular theme in the renamed Unitd States of Automovia would be a strong symbolic move to signify that, given the various setbacks that manmade-warming theory, politics and economics are currently encountering, we’re done with that crap.
* For a good primer on how the history of the English settlement of North America and relations with its Indian inhabitants does not neatly fit into common misconceptions, read Mayflower: A Story of Courage, Community, and War by Nathaniel Philbrick. It’s also a great counterinsurgency primer, thanks to the military innovations of Benjamin Church.
Topics: America,ancient mysteries,cars,moronocy,warmalism,western civilization
Posted by Jules Crittenden at 11:10 am Comments (1) on Monday, December 14, 2009
One Response to “Retro-Moonbattery”
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December 16th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Bonneville is a Triumph!
Cheers